Friends With Benefits
by zelliebear
Summary: Ciel meets a man that brings out sexual desires he never knew he had.
1. Chapter 1

**So yeah, this is happening.**

**Disclaimers: I don't own the characters or the anime Black Butler.**

**Warnings: This fanfic will have yaoi and language, and some kinks mayne.**

**There will be no dark past or anything in this, I just want fluff and smut with a dash of petty drama. Mostly smut lmao.**

**Anyway, thank you for reading and hope you enjoy.**

**PS: I'm not giving up on 8 Ball, just the more I get into the drama, the harder it is to write it, so it'll be taking longer to update, so this is just to give my readers something to hold them over. :p**

**THIS WILL NOT BE A LOVEY DOVEY STORY. If that is what you look for, go somewhere else. This won't have a sad ending or anything, just don't expect the words 'I love you' to be said.**

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Ciel let out a small sigh, leaning his back against the counter, watching as his friend went about cleaning the coffee machines. It was completely slow this afternoon, only having a couple customers in the past 2 hours. "Baaarrrddd, talk to me, I'm going out of my mind with boredom here!" He whined loudly, pouting like a little bitch.

"Ciel, busy yourself. You hardly do anything as it is. Sweep the floor or go clean the bathroom. I'm not a damn entertainer." Bard said with a smooth stern tone, not even bothering to look at Ciel as he spoke.

Ciel huffed and turned around, jumping a little when he saw a tall man with silky black hair down to his chin, perfectly shaped around it, red piercing eyes looking at him, a small smirk forming along his pale skin. "Ah, sorry, didn't mean to startle you." The man said. His voice was deep and smooth with a british tone to it. The voice paired up with his looks was enough to make Ciel swallow hard, unable to take his eyes off the very tall man. He tried to form his words, but his words came out chopped and nervous sounding anyway.

"Go-good day. H-help you?" He stuttered, blushing as he heard the man let out a soft chuckle. Why the hell was he blushing? He couldn't control his blushing as he got even redder when the man accidently brushed his hand against his when he went to grab a menu of their coffees.

"Hmmm." The man hummed as he looked over the drinks, a smile on his face. He thought the boy in front of him was absolutely adorable with his blushing cheeks, trying to look anywhere but at him. He looked at the boy and studied his features. He had black hair with a blue tint to it that went down to just below his ears, pale white skin, a eye patch over one of his eyes, the other sporting a lovely royal blue. He didn't look a day over 18 years old. "I'll take a caramel macchiato, please..." He paused as he looked at the boy's name tag. "Ciel." He made sure to say his name in a slight seductive tone to make the boy blush even further.

Ciel shivered at the way the man said his name. It just rolled smoothly off his tongue. To his horror, he turned even redder and groaned, turning around quickly to make his coffee. He needed to make this quick so he can just get him out of here already, he was acting like a virgin school girl who had a crush, and he was pretty sure he was no virgin or a school girl, considering he took dick like a champ.

He finished making the drink and turned to hand it to him, twitching a little as he saw the man staring at him very intently. Those eyes could see into your soul, he was damn sure of this. It felt like all his secrets were out in the open and it made him squirm, handing the drink to the man with shakey hands.

"Thank you, Ciel." The man said with a wink before turning and leaving the shop. Ciel sighed in relief, watching the man leave. He looked down and noticed a piece of paper folded up. He picked it up and noticed a phone number, grumbling under his breath as he put it in his pocket.

"The sexual tension in this room was so damn thick I could of cut it with a knife Ciel, what the fuck man." Bard said, laughing a little at the look Ciel shot at him.

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Ciel had a very slow and long day. Bard let him leave earlier than usual because of how slow it was, which he was very greatful for. He just wanted to go home, take a warm bath and curl up with his boyfriend and watch a movie or maybe get laid for once.

He opened the door to the apartment and sighed happily, taking hit jacket off and hung it up by the door. He walked to the end table in the hall way and picked up the mail, skimming through it. Bills, bills and more bills. His head shot up by a whimpering sound. He raised an eyebrow and tip toed to the living room, trying to see where the noise came from.

"Holy shit, Claude!" He heard coming from the bedroom. Ciel groaned and tip toed to the bedroom door, knowing exactly what was happening right now. Well, this explained a lot. Why Claude never wanted to have sex, why he was getting distant, staying at work later than needed. He felt like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

Ciel was pissed now as he heard more moans coming from the bedroom, so being the patient and loving person he is, he kicked the door open.

"WELL, WELL, WELL. I would of called to say I'm coming, but I wouldn't want interrupt while you're doing the same, you fucking shit head." He put his hands on his hips and gave Claude the deadliest glare he could possibly muster up. He was pretty sure he looked like a serial killer at this point, and god did he wish he was one.

Claude and a blonde boy quickly seperated, the blonde getting up and picking up his clothes quickly.

"YOU. Nope, no one is getting dressed, you go ahead and finish you little fucking love birds. I'll be going. I'll be back for my shit tomorrow unless that interferes with your fuck parade." Ciel walked over to Claude casually, hiding his anger pretty damn well, until he punched him in the face and smiled handsomely at him. "Atleast you can get SOMEONE off, I was losing faith in you." He stormed out of the bedroom, hearing Claude yelling at him to wait but didn't listen, grabbing his coat and slamming the front door behind him loudly.

He tugged his phone out of his pocket and the folded up paper from earlier. He was pissed, and he honestly wanted to bone the man from the coffee shop the moment he saw him. He dialed the numbers quickly, waiting impatiently for the man to answer.

"Hello?" The smooth deep voice made Ciel shiver, biting on his lip a little. That voice was the sexiest thing he's ever heard.

"This is Ciel.. From the coffee shop.. I was wondering if we can.. hang out?" Ciel said with a confident tone. He attempted to make it very clear what he wanted.

"Of course, I'll text you my address. See you soon, Ciel."

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Ciel looked at the house in front of him with his jaw opened. This house was gorgeous, it looked victorian. He looked down at the text just to double check if this was right. Once he confirmed for the 100th time, he walked up the path way and knocked on the door.

The door opened, revealing the smiling man. He had no shirt on and his pajama pants on, his hair wet from a fresh shower. Ciel swallowed, unable to take his eyes off the man's chest. He wanted to touch him so badly. He wanted to kiss and bite along that pale chest.

"Hello, Ciel. Come in. Would you like something to drink?" Ciel walked in, shaking his head. He looked around the living room. It was huge, it had a white sofa, a big flat screen TV on the wall above the fireplace, bookshelves were along the wall, along with a desk with some paper work on it. He smirked to himself and took his jacket off, walking to the desk and leaned on it, motioning for the man to come to him.

"No thanks, but is it possible to have you?" He whispered as the man came closer to him, stopping in front of him. The man raised his eyebrow, smirking.

"Skip the formalities, hm?" The man whispered huskily, grabbing ciel by the waist, pushing him on top of the desk and stood in between his slender thighs. He felt Ciel wrap his arms around his neck and he leaned down to kiss him hard, ripping his shirt down the middle, shoving it off.

Ciel wrapped his legs around the mans waist, shoving him closer and pulled at his hair hard, earning him a groan from the tall man. He smirked and bit on the man's lip hard, pulling and sucking on it as he grinded against the man's hips, running his hands down and shoved the pants down, slipping his hand into the man's boxers, running his fingertips along the long length, his breath hitching as he felt a piercing just below his tip.

He wrapped his tiny hands around the thick cock, stroking and squeezing on it hard, licking his lips as he watched the man tilt his head back, groaning at the pressure on his cock. He took the opportunity to bite down on his neck, sucking hard, swirling his tongue along the bite to ease the pain, stroking on the big cock faster.

Ciel continued to stroke the man's cock hard and fast, swirling his thumb along the slit. He bit down on the pale neck again, this time even harder than before, nearly making it bleed. The man groaned loudly and suddenly took the hand out of his boxers, making Ciel stand up and quickly undressed him before Ciel even knew what had happened, he was bent over the desk, cheek pressed against the wood. He licked at his lip, curving his back, making his ass push out further.

The man bit down on this lip as he looked at the pale, cute ass in front of him. It was beyond perfect, one of the best one's he's ever seen. He kicked Ciel's legs apart, dropping to his knees, slapping the ass hard, gripping and kneading at it, biting at the other cheek.

"Ah-aha shit. Do it again." Ciel moaned under his breath, pushing his ass back against the hand a little, closing his eyes. He moaned loudly as he felt another slap, it was rough and hurt, but it turned him on more than he would of thought.

The man pushed the cheeks apart, squeezing on them hard as he dragged his tongue along Ciel's hole, burying his face into his ass. He lapped at the hole hard, smacking the ass hard before he shoved his tongue inside, swirling it all along Ciel's walls.

Ciel's jaw instantly dropped and nearly let out a scream, grinding his ass back against the man's tongue as it worked him good. He dug his nails into the desk as he felt a long finger enter inside him along side the tongue, his breathing becoming more erratic.

The man ate Ciel out like it was going to be his last meal, his tongue licking everywhere in reach, his finger curling and thrusting in and out at a fast pace. When he heard Ciel moan loudly and started to shake, he began thrusting his finger harder and faster against the prostate he found.

Ciel was a mess, all he saw was white, his body shaking as he was eaten out. He felt that tongue everywhere and it was driving him insane. He wanted the man's cock, he wanted it buried in him, he wanted to be fucked hard. _He wanted to be taken._ "Fuck.. Fucking fuck me, please." He begged, breathing heavily.

Sebastian slid his tongue and finger out, giving the ass another rough slap as he stood up. He pulled his boxers off, picking Ciel up and laid him back down onto the desk, gripping his thighs hard, spreading them out wide. He slowly ran his cock along Ciel's hole, precum smearing against it as he leaned down to place a firm quick kiss to his lips.

Ciel whined as he was being teased, placing his hands above his head, moving his hips down, trying to feel more of the thick cock. "What's your name?" Ciel whispered against the man's lips. He wanted to scream the man's name, to let him know how he was feeling.

The man smirked against Ciel's lips and whispered in a stern voice, dominating, showing control. "Call me master, Ciel." He snapped his hips forward, shoving his cock inside Ciel in one go, groaning at the warmth and tightness. He gripped onto Ciel's hips hard and gave him little time to adjust as he begun his thrusting.

Ciel's eye rolled in the back of his head as he let out a loud scream when he felt the big thick cock shove inside him, arching his back. The pain was there, but it turned him on even more, nearly making him cum. "Fuck, give it to me, master. Make it fucking hurt, ugh fuck." He moaned out, biting on his lip hard. Just the size of the man was almost too much to take.

He threw his head back as the man begun pounding into him roughly, making sure he took every inch with each thrust, hitting his prostate with each time. He felt nails drag down his chest and along his hips roughly, nearly making him bleed, making him cry out loudly, panting from pleasure and pain. He roughly moved his hips with the man's thrusts, scratching hard at the desk. "M-Master.. I'm gonna cum, fuck." As he said that, the man went wild on him, scratching and pounding into his ass with full force. Ciel arched his back even more and came hard, his mind fuzzy with pleasure, screaming and whimpering, his body shaking uncontrollably, biting on his lip so hard it bled.

The man leaned down and bit onto Ciel's neck roughly, pulling and sucking on the skin hard, slamming into his ass with everything he had. The sound of screams and skin slapping against skin was loud and erotic, making the man go crazy. He couldn't control himself anymore, he was rough and it made Ciel go insane with pleasure. He grabbed Ciel's hands and pinned them to the desk hard as he mustered up even more strength and rammed into his ass with even more force, making sure he hit his prostate every time. He bit down on his neck so hard it bled, making Ciel scream so loud that the whole neighborhood could of heard it.

Ciel could barely keep his eyes open, couldn't think straight. He dug his nails hard into the man's hand as he felt his neck bleed, panting so hard it hurt. Suddenly he felt the man pull out of him, making him whimper at the loss. He was brought down to his knees in front of the man and he looked up at him.

"Make me cum, Ciel." He winked at him, running his fingers through Ciel's hair before pulling on it hard, shoving his face in front of his throbbing cock.

"Yes master." Ciel whispered before shoving the cock in his mouth, taking it all the way down his throat as he gagged against it slightly, sloppily rolling his tongue along the length. He made sure to pay special attention to the piercing as he slammed the cock in and out of his throat, moaning against it loudly, more than eager to suck the cock. Drool slid down his chin as he slammed it down his throat even harder, rolling his eye back from the pleasure he got from the pain, running his hand down and squeezed on the balls gently, rolling them between his fingers.

The man groaned and slid out of Ciel's mouth, cumming all over his face and grinned down at the cum covered boy. He watched as the body licked what he could off of his face, the look of enjoyment all over his face.

Ciel looked up at the man with half lidded eyes, biting on his lip. He felt so, so tired. He just got fucked so good it made him almost pass out. He watched as the man leaned down, pressing a kiss to his temple before whispering.

"The name's Sebastian, by the way."

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**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heya peeps.**

**So here is chapter 2.**

**I'm actually quite enjoying writing this, cause I don't need to write drama, just 2 guys enjoying each other, yes yes. Very awesome.**

**I'm in the progress of writing the next chapter of 8 Ball, please be patient.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Black Butler.**

**Warnings: Language, smutsmutsmut. Also, I guess I should mention that there will be choking and slapping and a bunch of shit in this fic, and in this chapter. If you haven't caught on yet, Ciel is a masochist. He loves pain. So if that bothers you, don't read any further cause it will get pretty WOOOO. lmao**

**FUCK LUBE, AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT.**

**Also follow me on tumblr, auggiesucksass. kthx.**

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Ciel layed on the floor of Sebastian's house, a light blanket covering his hips as he held a cigarette, taking a drag, looking over at the tall pale man with a slight smile on his face.

Sebastian was a great distraction. He completely forgot why he even came here to begin with until he layed there, trapped with his thoughts.

"So what brought you here?" Sebastian asked, voice slightly husky. He was laying on the couch with his eyes closed, smoking a cigarette as well.

"Ah, caught my now ex boyfriend with some blonde kid." Ciel replied in an annoyed voice, letting out a sigh. Claude was just plain shit.

"That's why I don't do boyfriends. No commitment, no promises. You can't break anyone's heart that way, and you don't have an obligation to talk to them or even pay attention unless you want them for something." He said in a calm voice, looking over to Ciel, giving him a charming smile.

Ciel stood up and walked over to Sebastian, gently straddling the mans hips and put his cigarette back to his lips, looking down at him as he exhaled. "Sounds nice. But don't you ever get lonely?"

Sebastian snorted and rolled his eyes, placing one hand on the boy's slender hip, rubbing it softly. He was surprised the kid was still here, but he noticed he didn't really mind. He was good company and didn't seem clingy at all like most of his.. partners. "If you're talking about needing someone to wake up to in the morning and cuddling, making breakfast and talking about futures together, no. I have no desire for a boyfriend. I do just fine the way I am. If I want to cuddle, which is pretty rare, I go out and fuck someone then cuddle them after for about 5 minutes." He laughed softly as he watched Ciel's face scrunch a little then smile, putting his cigarette out in the ash tray.

Ciel leaned down and brushed his lips against Sebastian's softly, whispering against them lightly. "Dark and mysterious, I like it." He pressed his lips against his gently and quick before sitting back up, grinning. "So is it safe to assume you've never dated?" He asked, running his fingertips along the man's chest in a soothing manner.

"I've had one boyfriend, back in highschool. I've never been the type to get emotionally invested and that bothered him. I'd never hold his hand and never said I loved him back, just never been that kind of guy. Never dated anyone since." He replied, looking up at the beautiful boy. "I've never fucked the same guy twice either."

Ciel nodded, moving his fingertips lower to run them along the man's waistline, humming quietly before responding. "No fuck buddies either, huh? Is it safe to say I'll never see you or hear from you again?" He made eye contact with Sebastian, grinning a little as he watched him ponder his answer.

"We'll see. I quite enjoy your company. But, for now, mind if I ask a question?" He watched as Ciel nodded. Sebastian raised his hand and ran his finger along the boy's eye patch lightly. "This, why do you wear it?"

"The ex that I just mentioned did it. I've dated him since I was about 14. He got really smashed one night when I was 18 and he kind of.. Gauged my eye out. Can't see out of it now, but I'm used to it." Ciel replied in a whisper, biting on the corner of his lips.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and pulled the boy's head to his, kissing him hard, running his hands down his sides as he pushed his body flush against his. He felt Ciel part his lips and he slipped his tongue inside, twirling it along his, swallowing the light moan that came from him.

Sebastian didn't understand his urge to kiss the boy, but it was strongly there. He's never met anyone like him, he was understanding and didn't get scared by his emotionless state. He didn't get up and run when he said he didn't do boyfriends, or start freaking out asking why he fucked him. He took it, he stayed, and understood their position. There was no future in this, at all. He understood what he wanted, and he knew he wanted the same. He found it incredibly endearing, and he caught himself wanting to keep him around. No in a loving way, no. More like a fuck buddy, which he never did. But what's the harm in it? Ciel seemed like a kid that wouldn't get attached and that was perfect.

Ciel started to grind his hips against the man's as the kiss became more frantic and needy. He ran his nails down his chest, causing the man to groan into his mouth. He felt Sebastian grab onto his own cock and place it between his ass cheeks, sliding it along Ciel's hole, causing him to moan, tilting his head back a little. He felt Sebastian's lips attach to his neck, kissing and sucking on it hard, leaving dark purple bruises.

He moaned under his breath as his neck was attacked, grinding his ass against the now hard cock, smearing the pre cum along his hole. He bit his lip hard as he felt it almost slip into his hole, whining when it didn't.

Sebastian ran his hands down and gripped onto Ciel's ass, kneading it and slapping it, grinding it down harder against his cock. "Ride it, Ciel." He practically growled, his patience running thin. He loved how submissive and needy Ciel was. All his other sex partners tried to challenge him, or use annoying dirty talk that instantly disinterested him.

Ciel bit his bottom lip hard as he gripped the hard cock and slowly slid it inside of him, letting out a loud moan as he kept taking every inch dry. The pain was amazing to him and turned him on so much that it surprised him. He never knew he liked pain until he met Sebastian and it made him want to try new things and see how much he could exactly handle.

He finally fully sat on the thick cock, licking his lips as he let himself adjust to the large girth. Due to his low patience, it wasn't long before he started slowly bouncing on the cock, his small hands on Sebastian's chest. He threw his head back as he bounced, breathing slightly faster, moaning loudly as he felt the man bite below his ear, growling into it.

The growl only caused him to bounce faster and harder. He made sure he took every inch, and in this position it felt like it was in his fucking stomach and it hurt. He dug his nails hard into the man's chest, moaning loudly as he took the cock like a champ as sebastian thrusted up in time with him, very hard. His eye rolled back into his head as his lips parted, shoving his hips down roughly and moved them in circles, causing the cock to rub up against his prostate, making him scream out from the intense pleasure.

Sebastian slapped his ass roughly and groaned under his breath when the boy started moving his hips in circles. He tilted his head back and gripped onto the boy's hips tightly and roughly started plowing into his ass, nearly causing him to fall off from the force of the thrusts.

"F-f-fuccck. Oh fuck, yes, shit." He screamed loudly as his prostate was abused with rough thrusts, causing him to shake violently. With one particular thrust, his eye sight went white, and he came hard, blabbering out incoherent words, panting and moaning as Sebastian kept thrusting up into him without even a slightest pause. "Fuck me, you fucking- aha- shit, is that all you got?" He challenged. He wanted the man to overpower him, make it hurt, he wanted to be ravaged.

Sebastian grinned and slammed Ciel onto his back, and started ruthlessly pounding into him, causing the boy to arch his back and scream his name over and over. He decided to try something and slapped the boy, lightly at first to test the waters. It was a hunch, and he hoped he was right.

Ciel bit his lip hard as he was slapped and ran his hand through sebastian's hair, tugging on it roughly. "Do it again." He commanded, moaning loudly when he felt a hard smack to his cheek. "God, fuck. Hurt me, fuck please." He begged, breathing heavily.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and smirked, pounding into his ass as rough as possible, giving the boy one last hard slap, causing the boy to scream loudly and cum again. "Damn, Ciel." He groaned as he felt his ass clench against his cock hard. He buried his face in the boy's neck and bit into it hard, sucking and pulling at the skin. He felt the boy shaking from the pleasure, and felt his heartbeat beating fast.

With a couple rough thrusts, he groaned as he came inside the boy. He rode out his orgasm, breathing heavy into his neck.

They laid there for awhile, trying to calm down. Ciel eventually stopped shaking, his eyes closed and breathing slow, running his fingers through Sebastian's hair slowly. He eventually passed out.

Sebastian slipped out of the boy and sat up, looking down at the boy. He ran his fingertips along the boy's red cheek, smiling gently.

"You're crazy and I love it." He whispered as he watched the boy sleep, leaning down and kissing the red mark on his cheek. He stood up and picked Ciel up bridal style, walking to his bedroom and laid him down gently, pulling the blankets over him.

"I think I'm going to keep you around." He said as he turned the light off, walking out back into the living room. He had a lot of work to do, and for some odd reason, it was nice knowing Ciel was in the other room sleeping.

He was incapable of loving someone, but if only he knew that keeping the boy around would lead to an attachment he was never prepared for.

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**Thank you for reading this chapter! Also, I'm extremely thankful for the follows and favorites, and the reviews so far. **

**This story won't be a standard love story, and I'm happy for it. It is a love story, but in Sebastian's own way, so it's not fluffy and cheesy. It's an emotional roller coaster, just barely keeping Ciel around is hard enough for him to understand lol. Sebastian is actually based off of me, and that's why it's EXTREMELY easy to write him. His emotional stand point and how he acts is just fluently coming out of me and it's awesome to write him.**

**I appreciate all my readers, really. Your nice words thaw my cold heart, lol.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I wasn't planning on writing another chapter, but I heard a song and it just inspired me because it REALLY reminded me of this fanfic, so here I am, hi.**

**The song is Flesh by Simon Curtis if you're interested lol.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Black Butler.**

**Warnings: Language and some.. dirty things. There will probably be smut or anything related to it in like every chapter because I'm a god damn pervert and NEED IT ALRIGHT.**

**Anyway, enjoy getting inside my perverted mind.**

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Ciel slowly opened his eye and yawned, looking over to the clock. 7 am. He sat up and looked around the bedroom he was in, taking in everything. It was nice. The room was painted black, the sheets and comforter on the bed was red silk, a red dresser, a wide screen tv on top of a red entertainment center, framed pictures of weird foreign things he couldn't read, and a stereo in the corner.

He slowly got up and noticed a pair of pants on the dresser folded neatly with a note that said to wear them. He put them on and made his way out of the bedroom, looking around for Sebastian. He saw him sitting at the desk with no shirt on, deep red lines running down his back. He smirked, tip toeing to the man to not get his attention.

He ran his fingertips along the red marks, leaning down to kiss under Sebastian's ear softly, whispering cutely into it. "Good morning." He squeaked when he was pulled into his lap, lips pressing against his softly. His eye slid closed, wrapping his arms gently around his neck, playing with the hair on the back of the man's neck.

Sebastian pulled back after a couple minutes to breathe, whispering against the boy's lips quietly. "Morning." He looked at the boy's sleepy eye, his bed head, and his skinny chest. The boy was tiny, and it was hard to believe he was able to be rough with him without breaking him. "You look sexy when you just wake up."

Ciel laughed cutely and moved to get more comfortable on the man's lap, ending up with straddling him. "Thank you. Did you even sleep?" He watched the man shake his head and felt him kiss his neck softly, his thumbs rubbing his hip bones. Ciel let out a quiet moan as he tilted his head to the side, giving him more access to his neck, closing his eye.

Sebastian slowly kissed along the pale throat, gliding his tongue softly along the smooth skin. He noticed the big purple bite mark that bled the previous night and gently placed a kiss to it, hearing the boy moan as he did. He smirked and sucked on it carefully, swirling his tongue to soothe the pain.

Ciel let out a shakey breath as he felt the man's tongue. He grabbed his hair and pushed his head harder against his neck, silently pleading for him to bite the spot.

Sebastian picked up on what he wanted and grinned before biting into the same spot again hard, earning him a hiss and a loud moan. He bit down even harder, nearly making it bleed again and sucked roughly, wrapping his arms tightly around the boy's waist to keep him close to him as he stood up, carrying him to the bathroom, plopping him down on the sink counter. He unlatched his lips from the boy's neck, taking a step back to look at the boy.

He was breathing hard, biting on his lip, his eye closed tight. He was gorgeous and looked needy, face flushed from being turned on and in pain. "We should shower."

Ciel opened his eye slowly, nodding a little. He couldn't speak, instead he calmed himself down and got off the counter, taking his pants off and threw them at Sebastian, giggling a little as he walked his naked ass to the shower to turn it on. A rough slap to his ass made him squeak, jumping up a little. "Hey now, shower time, not sexy time." He smiled innocently at him, stepping into the shower.

Sebastian soon joined him after, running his hands slowly down the boy's arms, gently pushing his chest up against the shower wall. He leaned in, whispering huskily into his ear. "We can do both." He watched as the boy shivered at his words, smirking. He kissed along his shoulder slowly while running his hand down to the boy's ass, giving it a firm smack before running a finger down to his hole, circling it along his hole.

Sebastian teased at his hole a little more before sliding his finger inside all the way, biting at his shoulder softly, smiling as Ciel pushed his ass further out, arching his back.

Ciel placed his hands against the wall and licked his lips, pushing his ass back against the finger as it fucked him. He closed his eyes and whined, wanting more. One finger was like teasing to him. "More." He moaned out seductively.

Sebastian complied and slid 2 more fingers in without warning and started finger fucking him hard, curling his fingers to hit the prostate. He licked, bit and sucked all over the boys neck and shoulder, leaving marks all over. He felt possessive, but he wanted to mark the boy. He wanted people to see them, too, so he slid his lips to right below his chin and sucked hard, leaving an uncoverable mark there. He smiled approvingly and shoved his fingers inside of his ass even harder, causing the boy to almost fall to his knees. He wrapped his free arm around the boy's waist, holding him up as he finger fucked him faster.

Ciel was going insane, he scratched at the wall slightly as he moaned loudly, trying his best to push his ass back with the finger's speed but failed once sebastian went so fast that he nearly passed out from the pleasure. He ran a shakey hand down to his cock and pumped it hard, breathing heavily as he did. With the fingers fucking him fast, slamming against his prostate, and along with the pumping of his cock, he started shaking as he came hard, all over the wall and his stomach. Sebastian let him fall to his knees to catch his breath. "Jesus christ, Sebastian."

Sebastian just laughed, kneeling down next to the boy. "Who said I was done?" He grabbed the back of the boy's head and gently pushed it down to the floor, moving his ass up to be in the air. He quickly got to work, licking and biting on the plump ass cheeks.

Ciel moaned under his breath, getting into a more comfortable position with his chest against the floor and his ass up even higher, licking his lips, he whispered under his breath in a sultry tone. "Eat it, baby."

Sebastian groaned at his words, slapping and gripping the cheeks roughly, spreading them apart and started eagerly licking at the boy's hole, kneading the cheeks hard. He loved the way the boy tasted, the way he went crazy, and the way he begged and squirmed. He was the hottest person on the face of this fucking planet to Sebastian.

Ciel moaned loudly as he got eaten out, biting on his lip roughly. He ran his hand around and gripped Sebastian's hair hard, shoving his ass against his face hard, grinding against the tongue, choking out moans as he felt it move faster and eventually shove inside of him. He felt the tongue licking at his walls hard, causing him to roll his eye in the back of his head. He roughly tugged on Sebastian's hair, earning him a very hard spank. "Fuck! Don't stop, fuck, fuck FUCK." He screamed and begged as he felt the tongue lick at his walls faster, swirling deep inside of him.

Sebastian wrapped one hand around Ciel's cock and pumped it hard as he ate his ass out harder, thrusting his tongue in and out fast, his other hand smacking and gripping the ass cheek. The sounds of loud slurping and screams filled the bathroom, both fully aware the neighbors probably heard them at this point but they didn't care. All Sebastian cared about was eating out the boy's hot ass and getting him off.

Sebastian continued to pump the hard cock until he heard Ciel moan his name loudly, cumming once again all over Sebastian's hand. With one last kiss to his asshole, he sat up and laughed at the panting boy.

"Have fun?" He asked innocently. He was ready to actually shower now. He had a shit ton of work to do, having 5 clients lined up that needed his attention right away.

Ciel sat up weakly and glared at the man behind him. "You're going to kill me with how much you've been fucking me and getting me off. I don't think I have anything left." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sebastian laughed and stood up, offering his hand to the boy. Ciel gladly took it, feeling pretty weak at this point. He just wanted to shower and eat some breakfast, but then he suddenly remembered he had to go get his stuff from his house and sighed, standing under the falling water.

"What's the matter?" Sebastian asked, washing Ciel's back softly, kissing at his shoulder softly as he did.

"I have to go get my stuff from my place. I don't want to be anywhere near that place again. I get mad just thinking about Claude." He rolled his eyes and huffed.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and thought to himself quietly before answering. "I can go with you, if you want." This was completely out of his character, but seeing Ciel visibly upset with having to go see Claude, he wanted to help. Maybe he was addicted to the boy's ass or something and didn't want to see it go. Yes, that must be it.

"And why would you want to do that, mr one night stand that doesn't fuck people more than once but obviously broke that little rule." He giggled as Sebastian shot him a warning glare. He turned around and kissed his cheek gently, smiling up at him.

Sebastian looked at him for a long while, shivering at the boy's smile. It truly was disgusting how cute he thought the boy was but at the same time just wanted to fuck him constantly without breaks.

He sighed a little before speaking words he has never spoken to another person before, making him slightly want to gag.

_"I'm not ready to see you go quite yet."_

* * *

**Let me make this clear, sebastian isn't falling for Ciel or anything, he's literally powered by lust and the big asshole just well, wants ciel's asshole like 24/7.**

**Plus he has evil plans for the boy, evil evil evil sexy plans that will make him go cray cray.**

**Anyway, yeah, thanks for reading my shitty fanfiction, ily all and yeah.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello. Sorry for the late update, but here it is, my little kinky fans. :D**

**This chapter will be a little less on the dirty side, because it's kind of impossible for me to add sex in this chapter, lmao.**

**Warnings: Language, A BJ.**

**Disclaimers: I don't own Black Butler or the characters, just the plot!**

**Also, I just want to thank you guys. I was so surprised with how much attention this story has gotten so far, and it's making me extremely happy and excited to write it.**

**Thank you for the reviews, so so so much. I love you guys, I truly do, and I hope this story will make you happy. I have no idea how long this story will be, but I'm still loving writing it and I hope to make it long.**

**Follow me on tumblr, if you like. :3 I'd love to get to know my readers.**

** auggiesucksass**  


* * *

Ciel cringed as he stared at his front door, a whine escaping his throat as he prepared himself to lay eyes on the worst human being in the world to him at the moment - fucking Claude.

"I suppose its too much to ask for him to be gone, seeing as he is literally always fucking here. I never realized how much of a life he _doesn't _have. Does this guy just work and fuck people behind my back? Like is that his hobby? Like shit man, can you beat him?" Ciel said, looking up at the very tall handsome man that ate his ass literally like 15 minutes ago. This thought just brought a dark blush to his cheeks.

Sebastian looked down at Ciel and raised his eyebrow. "Why the fuck are you blushing all of a sudden? And no, I won't beat him up. But I can fuck you in his bed if you want, I mean, it's a little unsanitary but I'll do it if it makes you stop looking at me like that. Seriously what is happening right now."

Ciel glared at the man, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. "I can't fucking blush? You're tall as fuck and make me feel like I'm 7 years old in your presence. And seriously, unsanitary? Are you really talking about this right now? You literally just ate my ass and you're bitching about unsanitary."

Sebastian grabbed Ciel's arm, pulling him against his chest and kissed his lips softly, chuckling against his lips. "Well, that's because your ass is cute and very clean." He kissed to his ear lightly, nibbling on it a little before whispering; "Do you want me to explain to you how you taste?" He laughed as Ciel's cheeks went red.

Ciel pushed Sebastian away, turning back to face the door and pulled his keys out. "You're ridiculous, really. Are you an ass addict, because I can get you help." He unlocked the door, stepping inside and groaned loudly when he saw Claude sitting on the couch with a blonde boy. "Oh for fucks sake. He looks fucking 12 years old, Sebastian, do you see this? He's 12. Claude is fucking a 12 year old. Hey did you bring some building blocks?"

Sebastian laughed loudly, pushing past Ciel and stood in front of Claude, his hand out to greet him. "Hello, my name is Sebastian and I fucked Ciel lastnight because you were fucking the apparently 12 year old boy by you. Just a question, do you have any spare whips? I need to fuck-"

"SEBASTIAN, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE." Ciel yelled, mortified at Sebastian's words. _I'm going to kill myself, it's offical, I'm going to go choke on something to make it look like an accident, this is horrible oh my god please stop talking._ Ciel thought, glaring at Sebastian so hard it hurt.

"Um, I don't have any whips, to begin with. The blonde next to me is 18, not 12. And wow Ciel, couldn't even wait a night to fuck somebody, huh? Didn't know you needed dick so b-"

Claude was interrupted by the loud laugh of the perfect Ciel Phanthomhive. His cheeks so red from laughing, his head tilted back, showing off all his dark purple hickies. His snorting filled the room, causing Sebastian to smile like a huge dork.

"You are literally the cutest fucking thing right now, I hate it. Come here." Sebastian said, walking up to Ciel and wrapping his arms around his slim waist, kissing his shoulder softly as the boy laughed.

"O-OH GOD. That was hilarious, holy fuck. Did you just seriously nag me for getting dick when you've been cheating on me with a 12 year old? There's no way that boy is 18, he looks like the blonde kid from that fucked up boku no pico shit I walked in on you watching one night. Oh god, is that a fetish of yours? Do you want me to get some ice cubes and a pink skirt for your child?" Ciel squeaked when Sebastian kissed a tender spot on his neck, causing him to giggle like a kid. They looked like a highschool couple and it made Claude want to vomit.

"So, what, are you guys a couple now? Threw me away that quickly?" Claude asked, standing up from the couch and clenched his fist, staring at the couple, snarling.

Sebastian and Ciel laughed at the same time, looking at each other as Sebastian spoke. "Oh yes. You're so correct. Come on honey bunch, let's go get you some clothes. Don't want to be late picking up the kids and getting some domesticated dinner. We have to be in bed by 9 pm dear, you have work in the morning."

Ciel snorted and stood on his tip toes, kissing Sebastian softly on the lips. "Oh thank you, dear. I shall make pancakes in the morning and I'll give you the newspaper to read in the morning as well. Do you want your coffee black as usual, or sweet?" He poked Sebastian on the nose. "just. like. you. My little bundle of joy."

They kept laughing as they walked to Ciel's room, shutting the door behind him, leaving a very confused Claude behind.

* * *

"Oh man. Hurry Sebastian, let's fuck or something in here. Make me be really loud so I make the pedophile in the other room feel uncomfortable."

Sebastian laughed and grabbed Ciel, pushing him onto the bed. (_A/N: This bed is Claude and Ciel's bed._) "I _did _say that I would if you wanted me to. What do you want me to do to you, sweet innocent Ciel." He slowly ran his hand up his shirt, brushing his thumbs against his nipples, causing Ciel to shiver and bite his lip.

"I don't care as long as you make me loud." Sebastian chuckled and shoved Ciel's pants and boxers off in one swift swipe, pushing his shirt up to reveal his smooth pale stomach. He leaned down and licked and sucked his way down to his waistline, paying close attention to the boy's hip bones.

Ciel moaned under his breath, arching his back up as he felt Sebastian's tongue, running his thin fingers through the silky black hair, gently massaging at his scalp, earning an appreciative hum from the handsome man.

"I'm gonna make this quick so I can take you home and fuck you senseless again." Sebastian grinned and took Ciel's cock into his mouth all the way, sliding his tongue along his tip as he sucked hard, rubbing at the boy's hipbones hard.

Ciel moaned loudly as his cock was enveloped into the sweet warm mouth, throwing his head back as he tugged at the man's hair. He pushed his hips up, his eye rolling back as his hips are rubbed, licking his bottom lip.

Sebastian slapped the side of Ciel's ass hard, moving to grip it roughly, kneading it. He bobbed his head up and down, sucking on the cock hard and fast, making sure his tongue licked at every part of it, hallowing his cheeks a little as Ciel started to fuck his mouth, his moans filling the bedroom loudly. He smirked against the cock as he heard footsteps coming to the bedroom door.

Ciel was oblivious to the footsteps, his mind lost in the clouds of pleasure. He completely forgot where he was, only hearing his heavy breathing and loud moans, along with Sebastian's loud sucking noises. He moaned Sebastian's name under his breath as he rubbed at his ass, suddenly having the want of being filled by him.

Sebastian shoved Ciel's cock down his throat and swallowed against it, earning him a pleasure filled scream and rough tug at his hair. He groaned against the cock, sending vibrations down it.

"What the fuck Ciel, on my bed?" Claude said with anger in his voice, closing his eyes. His heart hurt to walk in on this, to hear Ciel like this. He's never heard him make these noises, which made it even worse, knowing that Sebastian could get him to look and sound like this.

Ciel completely ignored Claude, only focused on his release, with a particular hard suck and rough swallow, he came hard down Sebastian's throat, screaming and writhing with pleasure. "Fucking fuck, oh my godd." His breathing was loud, shaking from the intense orgasm. He barely could acknowledge Claude standing there.

Sebastian swallowed the cum eagerly, cleaning him up with his tongue before plopping the cock out of his mouth and pulling the boy's pants and boxers back up. He sat up and fixed his hair and clothes, turning to look at Claude.

"Why were you watching us? That's pretty weird." Sebastian said, a smirk on his face.

"Fuck off of my boyfriend." Claude was seething, shaking from his anger.

"Oh god Claude, shut the fuck up for once. I'm not your boyfriend anymore, and you're hilarious for acting like this when you just fucked another dude last night and god knows how many times before that. So leave me alone, let me lay here in peace to calm down from my VERY intense orgasm and I'll leave with my clothes. Might want to change the sheets too, some got on them. Sebastian can only catch so much of it, you know?"

Sebastian put his hand over his mouth, trying really hard not to laugh. He didn't want to upset this Claude dude even further, even if it was hilarious.

"Fuck you, Ciel."

Ciel groaned and closed his eyes, too tired to move. "Each time I cum, I feel even weaker. Does your talent just improve over time or some shit, like seriously."

Sebastian chuckled and decided to pack for Ciel, just shoving every piece of clothing he could find into the suit case he brought with them. "Just relax, I'll pack for you."

* * *

Ciel awoke on Sebastian's bed, completely confused out of his mind. He looked over next to him and saw a sleeping Sebastian, the moonlight reflecting off his pale smooth skin. Ciel leaned over and kissed his shoulder, smiling softly as he scooted closer to him, feeling Sebastian wrap his arm around his waist.

_This is so cheesy it hurts. _Thought Ciel with a giggle, wrapping his thin arms around the man's chest, closing his eyes and slipping back into a comfortable sleep.

* * *

**This chapter was my favorite to write. XD. I kind of don't want to ruin this peaceful cuteness that ciel and sebastian have right now, but it has to happen or else this will turn into a fluffy cute mess of adorableness which is what I don't want, even if I do write some into this.**

**I'm not going to make them completely unhappy with no cuteness or relationship qualities, so I guess expect SOME fluff. Anyway, thanks for reading, next chapter sometime next week.**


	5. Chapter 5

**-waves nervously- So hey, it's been 12000 years and I'm so fucking sorry. I'm terrible, I know, but thank you to the people who still have my story followed, and I hope you enjoy this. I'll try to update more, I'm so sorry!**

**Warnings: Language, das about it. Some angst.  
**

**Also in the future, I think I want to add Ciel being all cute in pantys and shitt, idk kink shit is gonna happen just stick with me and deal with sebastian being an asshat this chapter**

**Disclaimers: I don't own Black Butler, i wish i did so I could be rich**

* * *

Ciel fluttered his eyes open, letting out a loud yawn, stretching his limbs out far and wide. Coming back to his senses, he remembers he's in Sebastian's house, his boyfriend cheated, he has no where to go because Claude sucks huge dicks, and he has to be at work in 30 minutes, fantastic.

He jumps up quickly, walking up to his suit case and pulling out some clothes, quickly getting dressed when he heard weird noises from the living room.

He leaned his ear against the door like a fucking creep, listening closely to hear what the fuck that sound was, when a loud moan erupts, making Ciel jump back so quick he almost tripped and died over his suit case.

Now, several things went through his head at this very moment. Wow, I almost died was a huge thought at the beginning, but then the very uncomfortable thoughts came to him in waves, nearly drowning him and upsetting him to no end. _Do I seriously have a Claude #2? But, we aren't together, we fucked a couple of times, that's it. He doesn't belong to me, he doesn't do boyfriends. Do I even do boyfriends anymore? _

Thoughts kept coming and coming through his mind, when just by luck, the man in the other room sure sounded like he was coming as well.

Ciel did the one thing he could think of in his cloud of panic and dread, and hardcore jealously of a man he fucked a couple times and cuddled with fairly well and ate ass like a pro- He opened the door and ran out so fast, he barely heard Sebastian saying good morning while pulling up his pants with a smile.

That almost, almost made him throw up all over the floor.

"Uh yeah, hi, gonna go bye." He's never ran to work so quickly and eagerly in his entire life.

* * *

"What the fuck Ciel, you're all gross and sweaty. Did you even shower? Dear god, we work in a fucking place with food, collect yourself." Said Bard with his stupid ass deep voice, that literally NOBODY wanted to hear this early in the morning after running and being traumatised by men back to back.

"Bard I swear to god, I love you, but you're annoying the shit out of me just by talking. If I want to smell like a fucking sweat rag and make somebody some fucking cookies I will." Ciel snapped, placing his hands on his hips like he owned the place and wasn't just a shitty barista with a shitty attitude and shitty luck and just a sassy shit head all around.

Bard studied him, raising an eyebrow, huffing out a breath after what feels like an hour. "Ciel, just.. work, you little fuck."

Right when Ciel was collecting his apron, he heard the most annoying voice he's ever heard. It sounded like someone laced their voice with shit and sickly sweet bullshit with a side of "wow let me act like im cute and yell at everyone like a preteen." He was seriously plotting a murder in his head.

"BARDDDDD. BARDY BOOOOOOO. BARD, MY GRUFF LOOKING MANLY BEAST." The blonde shouted at the top of his lungs, giggling like a school girl with a fucking crush.

"Oi! Alois, shut the fuck up it's 9 in the morning and I can't deal with your fucking shit. Put on a apron and fuck off until atleast 12. Also, there's a beast in the back looking for anything to attack so I suggest you use caution." Bard explained in the most calm voice Ciel has ever heard in his life.

"Bard shut the fuc-" He paused as he looked at the blonde fucker, the fucker who was with Claude. "Oh jesus fucking christ." He buries his face in his hands, nearly on the verge of screaming.

"Oh hello.. Ciel! Claude told me about you, but also you've seen me... under him... and that's a little awkward, but it's so nice to see you again!"

"Hold me back Bard."

After that, Ciel spent his entire shift plotting murder, almost carrying it out, Bard yelling at both of them for arguing, and Ciel having to be held back from stabbing Claude when he came to pick up Alois from work.

Overall? Great fucking day if you think being homicidal is a fun time.

* * *

Ciel locked up the coffee shop, shoving his hands in his pockets and turned around, almost immediately falling on to the floor because of the sight of Sebastian's car.

Sebastian got out of the car and walked up to Ciel, the tall fucker looking down at Ciel with a smooth smile on his face, like he didn't fuck somebody else while Ciel was in the other room.

"Good day at work?" He asked, reaching out to touch Ciel. He slapped it away ,of course, stomping his foot and crossing his arms over his chest, looking up at the tall asshole with the evilest glare he could muster.

"Excuse me, you giant fucking brute with nice pecs and red eyes that I think actually drain my fucking soul. You fucking ass eating machine. Mother fuck-"

"Can you get to the point?" Sebastian interrupted with a grin, looking at Ciel like he was the best thing in this world and that only made him even madder.

"I don't fuck men left and right, but I'm pretty sure it's polite to NOT fuck somebody else while the OTHER person you fuck is in the other room. Who even does that? You couldn't just come in the room and said," Ciel clears his throat and mimicks Sebastian in a very cringe worthy way, "Excuse me, light of my life, best fuck I've had, nice ass, nice little body, can we bone again so I don't have to bone somebody else while you're in the other room and also HEAR his coming noise." He rolled his eyes, huffing up at the man, puffing out his chest like he was a macho man, but only ended up looking like a rolled up tootsie roll.

"Casual jealousy is pretty cute on you, you know that? Also, I don't sound like that. Ciel, I don't belong to you. We aren't a couple. We aren't even anything close to a couple. I admit though, I shouldn't have fucked somebody else while you're in the other room, but you live there, I assumed? So, what do you suggest I do when I'm wanting to bring somebody home?" Sebastian calmly stated, running his fingers through his hair like he's had this conversation a million times and it nagging a toddler.

Ciel swallowed, his chest tightening at the thought of him sleeping with other people. He doesn't understand why he's getting this feeling, at all. It scares him a little how badly he wants to be the only one Sebastian fucks, even if he's known from the beginning that's what Sebastian doesn't do.

"You could fuck me instead..." Ciel blurted, very quietly without even thinking, trapped in his own thoughts. He immediately looked down, closing his eyes tightly, holding his breath the longer Sebastian stayed silent.

"I don't do that, Ciel. I told you from the beginning I don't want to be tied down, whether it's sexual or boyfriend. I apologize."

Ciel looked back up at Sebastian and sighed. "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can't do this. I can't do so fucking casually. I can't be someone that's called up just to fuck. I want the cuddling ,I want cuteness, I want to feel wanted. I don't mind not being called a boyfriend, or even if you go and fuck somebody somewhere I'm not, better yet, if I don't know about it. Or there's ground rules, but I simply can't just wait around and be used whenever you feel like it. Yeah, it was fun with you, but I can't do that at all. It makes my chest hurt just thinking about it. So, I can stay at my friends house and pick up my suit case tomorrow and that'll be it. Sorry for being a bitch about this in the beginning, and thank you for making this break up easier to deal with." He takes a deep breath, mustering up a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Bye Sebastian, see you later."

And with that, Ciel doesn't bother looking at him anymore and turns around and walks away, completely missing the hesitant look on Sebastian's face, and the way he turned to stop him, only stopping completely when he thought better of it.

* * *

**Yep. Sorry again.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello, wonderful readers.**

**So few things before you get to reading. I saw a 2 comments that I wanted to clear up real quick. First, about 8 Ball, my other fic. I'm not sure if I will continue it or not, it doesn't get as much attention as this one because of the pairing, so I'm not sure if it's worth it, plus its VERY dark and will continue to be dark and it's a little difficult to write as well. So, I apologize, if I want to continue, I will post a note on this fic and the other to let you know. **

**Second, someone commented on being disappointed about no feelings being involved in this, and I guess I didn't write it clear enough. There WILL be feelings, but there is different love languages and Sebastian's is in a weird way, which is why the words I love you will never be from HIS lips. Sebastian loves in his own way, which if you are looking for cuddly, a lot of fluff and a cheesy happy ending, that won't be here, but this isn't a sad ending. It'll be a good ending, just no going to get married in the sunset or being a couple, they will never be a couple in that kind of way. But don't worry, Ciel will be there to bring fluff and Sebastian will sometimes give into it, so it's not completely sex.**

**So this story is JUST beginning, we aren't even to the kinks yet. This story is about exploring Ciel's kinks and discovering more about himself. I hope this doesn't upset people.**

**Thank you for reading, seriously. I'm so insecure about my writing, and everytime I post a chapter I feel like it's complete shit and you guys make it so worth it with the nice comments and seeing some of you so into it. So thank you, again. honestly. 3**

**Warnings: Language.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Black Butler or it's characters. Enjoy.**

* * *

It's been one full week since Sebastian watched Ciel walk away from his apartment with his belongings. It was a quiet visit, very quiet. By quiet, it means Ciel came, didn't even look at Sebastian, and Sebastian just continued watching his show on the TV.

Sebastian isn't one for regrets, or missing things, or attachment, he knows this, but something inside him is bothering him to no end. Watching Ciel walk away after his speech got him thinking a TON. He's been thinking so much, that he can't even get off anymore, it's like no one is good enough for him anymore.

Which presents his little problem- he needs to get laid, a proper lay, with someone as soft, kinky and beautiful as Ciel, because of course, Sebastian refuses to go to him and beg Ciel to let him hit it one more time, or several, but if that's his thoughts, no one needs to know that tiny detail except him.

Long story short - He misses the sassy Ciel.

Misses. That word and feeling isn't even in his brain. He can barely comprehend it himself.

Sebastian leans back and sighs, closing his eyes and just let's himself think. What can he really do? He isn't used to this. Used to wanting somebody so badly in his bed, and even in his life on a reaccuring basis. He's a like a demon - Just wants to drain the life from people, to make them realize things about themselves, to crush them and make them feel used. Maybe it's sick, but he gets off on it, on people wanting him, wanting him to call back again, but he doesn't. He never does.

Ever.

He wants to be something that comes and goes. Something someone looks back on and barely remembers because he was gone before the blink of an eye. Sebastian never sticks around, he hates it. He hates being tied down to somebody, to belonging to someone. Not having the ability to look at a nice dude's ass and possibly hit it later just because he can, because he has somebody at home waiting for him.

Domestic isn't for him.

Ciel is someone he'd possibly do it for, though. But he'd rather die than say that out loud to Ciel or try to get him back.

* * *

"Mmmm, fuck me, Master, you're so big!" The nameless boy moans under Sebastian.

Sebastian flinches, the last time someone calling him that being Ciel. Everything he did reminded him of Ciel.

"FUCK, get the fuck out." Sebastian yells, pulling out of the boy and standing up, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Get your shit and go, I'm over this." He leaves the room, shutting his door behind him and sits on the couch, rubbing his hands over his face.

What in the living fuck is wrong with him? He does NOT understand this.

"Asshole." The boy murmers, slamming the door shut behind him.

The word asshole used to make him laugh when it was an insult directed to him, but now it just makes him wonder if that's why Ciel left.

* * *

Ciel is so fucking miserable that it's borderline disgusting.

Without a distraction, Claude keeps clouding his brain and he wallows in it. He has the million dollar question constantly running through his head - "Was I not good enough?"

Ciel almost wants to snort at himself because he's usually a cocky bitch. He knows he's a good fuck, a good lover, nice, sweet, hella cute and has a very cute butt.

HE EVEN SHAVES AND MOISTURIZES.

"Ciel, baby, can you give me a smile? We're at a club, having drinks and a cute boy is singing. What more do you need, honey? I miss youuuuu." Mei-rin whines, pouting out her bottom lip and fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"First of all, yes, we're at a club, I don't understand why you would even bring that up because it doesn't mean shit. Second, the boy looks fucking 12 and he looks like he doesn't have sex with ANYTHING. Third, I need someone to fucking fuck me and distract me. I was fine with Sebastian, he distracted me, but now that I have the little blonde twink working with me and having to see Claude everyday, I seriously want to turn into a cannibal and fucking eat them. EAT THEM, Mei-rin. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Ciel groans, hitting his forehead against the table and holding in a loud frustrated scream.

Mei-rin sits up straight, putting on a very horrible face that makes Ciel want to combust. "Listen here, you little shit. You have the ass of a God. I don't even eat ass and I'd eat the fuck out of yours with getting nothing in return, seriously, I'd be okay with just eating that ass. Now get the fuck out on the dance floor, shake that cute little ass before I fucking kill you."

"I fucking hate you." Ciel says, getting up anyway and marches to the center of the dance floor, grabbing the first guy he sees and grinding his ass against his crotch because that's dancing, obviously.

* * *

Sebastian is plotting the murder of the man that Ciel is currently grinding on. Jealously is an ugly thing, and he's wearing it so proudly that it's seething out of him in waves, making everyone stare at what the fuck his eyes are currently locked on.

He's squeezing at this drink so hard it's on the verge on breaking. He's frustrated. Very frustrated. The ass he ate a week ago is currently grinding on some dude that looks like a fucking avacado roll from the sushi restaraunt down the street.

He's gritting his teeth now, fantastic. He's disgusting himself, but right now his mind is fogged with alcohol and the need to have Ciel back.

So, with that, he gets up from his chair, marches to Ciel, standing proudly in front of him with his chest puffed up.

But what does he do the minute Ciel looks at him? He grabs the nearest guy and starts dancing with him, like a fucking idiot.

He wants to punch himself.

He places his hands on the guy's hips, grinding his ass back into his crotch, making eye contact with Ciel. He smirks to himself when he sees something cloud in his eye, pouting out his bottom lip and looking absolutely adorable.

But that ends real quick.

The being adorable part.

When Ciel screams very loudly at Sebastian.

"YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME I WANT TO PUT YOU IN MY TRUNK AND GO TO A LAKE AND DRIVE INTO IT OH MY GOD."

Fantastic. Piss off the fucking 4 inch leprechaun with a nice ass, why don't you.

* * *

**Smut next chapter. This chapter was so bad im sorry  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello. People have probably forgot about this story, but I finally logged in and remembered that it exists and I'm sorry again about forgetting.**

**I'll be publishing this on Ao3 as well. Please read there if possible (: My user is zelliebear.  
**

**Anyway, I promise I'll be focusing on this more now. I'll try to write a chapter every weekend or so. I missed writing this fic.**

**THIS CHAPTER IS SO CHEESY.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

Several things were going through Sebastian's head as Ciel screamed at him. 1 thought was how beautiful he looked. It felt like his first breath of fresh air seeing him again, which kind of irritated him to no extent. And this second thought, was how adorable he looked when he was mad and pouting, which shouldn't be cute because he's currently calling Sebastian some names that don't even make sense but manage to bother him anyway.

Fucking 4 inch bastard.

"Can you shut the fuck up for 5 minutes?" Sebastian said calmly, staring at a very mad Ciel. Why was he even mad anyway? They don't belong to each other.

But then again, Sebastian has no right to question it because he himself wanted to commit a murder seeing some 2 dollar whore touching his Ciel.

Wait - _his _Ciel?

"Excuse me? You have the audacity to sleep with someone in the other room, then act like it's completely fine, then barge in here trying to make me jealous like you have some fucking right then tell me to shut the fuck up? Are you kidding me? Fuck you, Sebastian." Ciel is seething at this point, puffing out his chest and standing on his tip toes to make him seem taller than he really is. He hates being small when he's trying to be menacing.

"I'm sorry that you had some twisted fucked up idea of who we were to each other, but we aren't together. We fucked a couple times and that's it. I have a right to fuck whoever I want, I'm not tied down, Ciel. I've said this from the beginning, it's not my fault you walk into something even when you know the conequences of your actions." Sebastian is speaking so calm it's unreal. Like he isn't even phased.

Ciel can be immature, and that clearly shines through in the next five minutes.

"Okay." Ciel says calmly, turning his back and grabbing the guy he was dancing with hand, walking to the bathroom without even sparing a look back at Sebastian.

This was the first time Ciel felt dirty as he got on his knees in a club bathroom to suck a guys dick just to make somebody mad.

He felt petty.

* * *

Sebastian knows he fucked up. He did everything opposite of what he wanted to do. He was mad at himself for shutting down and running his mouth without thinking.

He wanted to tell Ciel that he wants him to come back, that he would even just talk to him, and instead of that he made Ciel walk away to do God knows what in a bathroom stall.

But, I suppose Sebastian is only good at fucking up everything.

He just scoffs, turning and exiting the club, quickly putting a cigarette to his mouth and lighting it, looking up at the night sky, sighing out softly as he tried to understand what he was feeling.

It was unknown to him, he only knew how to be wanted and throwing people away after he gave them what they wanted.

He's never had to pursue someone. He's never had to do things to keep someone around. He didn't know how to hold commitments, or whatever this was. All he knew is that he wanted Ciel back in his bed. He wanted to hear his giggle and see his smile.

It was gross, but he wanted so many fluffy things and it was irking him to no end.

"It's cold out here, you know."

Ciel.

Sebastian turns around quickly, staring at the boy calmly, but inside he felt weird, another unknown feeling.

"I guess it is, yeah." Sebastian says quietly, taking another drag of his cigarette, watching as Ciel steps closer to him, stopping in front of him, the tip of their shoes touching.

"I know you don't do boyfriends or commitments, that's not really what I'm asking of you. I had time to think, you know? I don't even think I want commitment right now, but all I know is that I want you. I'm pretty sure it's just a sexual want.. But I want it, you know? I just don't want you to.. fuck other people while I'm in the other room." Ciel looks up, biting on his bottom lip and brings his small pale hand to grip gently onto Sebastian's black coat, fiddiling with the buttons softly. "All I want is to feel good enough for someone, and when I walked out to you fucking someone else when I was literally in the other room made me feel inadequate, not good enough for your liking. I understand that I can want some stuff that may be weird, or freak you o-"

Ciel was interrupted by a pair of lips, tasting cigarette smoke. It made his insides flutter, slipping his eye shut and melted into the familiar kiss once again.

It may sound really cheesy, but it felt like comfort.

They kissed slow and gentle, unusual for their kind of relationship. It felt like Sebastian was conveying a message, an unspoken promise.

_I promise._, was on the tip of his tongue as he slipped it into Ciel's mouth.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi hi :]**

**So, couple things. I'm rethinking the ending to this fic, because I'm getting attached to them and want them to have a better ending then originally planned, so that being said, I'm thinking of adding a bit more feels, but it won't stray too far from what's currently happening.**

**Second; Just wondering if anyone wanted like a flashback of the backstory of Ciel losing his eye? Not sure if anyone is interested in that, but if you are, let me know and I'll add it either to the end of the fic, or somewhere in there. **

**Third; Thank you for the reviews on both Ao3 and . It really does mean the world to me when you guys say such nice things, but criticism does too! Don't be shy to tell me things you don't like. I want to improve and create better stories, so please don't hesitate to call me out on my bullshit.**

**Anyway! Here is the next installment. It's gonna be focused on thoughts, from both point of views. I'm trying to write more about Sebastian because I want you guys to understand him better and his conflict going inside his head. He's supposed to be a complicated character. **

**As always, thank you for reading. It's nerve wrecking to put your work on a public forum and have people read the story going on in your head :)**

**Hope you enjoy this! **

* * *

Ciel doesn't know how it happened, but they somehow went from kissing in the street to in Sebastian's bedroom. He didn't want to end up here, in fact, he planned on being anywhere BUT here.

Ciel had shit to say, but he just had to kiss the big motherfucking brute and seem like he forgave him pretty damn quick.

He fucking thought.

"Wait, stop." Ciel said, pushing Sebastian away from him and crossing his arms over his naked chest, shivering a little once he realized how cold it was in the room.

_Cold as Sebastian's fucking heart, asshole. _Ciel thought.

"What is it?" Sebastian said, looking a little disgruntled. He definitely expected sex. He really wanted sex. Ever since he met Ciel, sex has been really boring and not the same and he honestly can't think in the correct head at the moment.

"I'm not sleeping with you unless we make rules. You know, determine what this is? What we don't want and do want? Compromise?" Ciel said, huffing a little when he saw Sebastian roll his eyes like feelings are the worst thing ever to discuss.

"I already told you want I don't want." Sebastian stated calmly, stepping closer to Ciel and looking in his eye, getting distracted by the feelings he sees swarming in them.

"Okay, then how about we switch it up and you tell me what you DO want? Because it just seems like you want to fuck me and other people whenever you like, despite where I am at the time, and that won't fly with me. I don't want that and I deserve better."

Sebastian felt his blood run completely cold. This is exactly what he didn't want to deal with. The first time sleeping with Ciel, they had a talk after and he completely got the vibe that Ciel had no problem with what he wanted. That was why he continued it, why he slept with him more than once and even slept in the same bed with him.

He can't deal with this. The words he wants to say is caught in his throat, staying in his brain and refusing to accept them. He knows what he wants, he's set on what he wants. He's never been so sure of anything in his life and that fact scares the living fuck out of him.

He wants to be... _fuck buddies... _With Ciel Phantomhive. He never thought this day would come. It's been fuck and go for years. He's never been in a commited relationship or a... partnership where there was rules. In fact, he's never even slept with the same guy twice.

What could Ciel possibly believe will come out of this? How does he know that he won't invite someone over when he's sleeping and fuck them quietly? How does it know he won't fuck everyone in the entire god damn world in the other room without him knowing? How can he expect, Sebastian, to simply live by rules that semi tie him down?

Sebastian feels a headache coming on, and he's never been more confused and agitated with how things are going. He can't see all possible outcomes, he can't see what the future holds or how things will make him feel or lead him to do.

He needs more control, he needs this on his own terms. He needs to know what the fuck this means at all. He feels like a fucking child and it's driving him insane.

"Um.. Alright.. What would your terms be, exactly? If I were to agree upon a partnership, where we have sexual encounters and that is all that comes out of this, what exactly do I have to agree to? Considering the kind of person I am, how are you so sure this would work despite any rules that may seem fair to you?" Sebastian said, cocking his head to the side and eyeing the boy, keeping his face calm and looking uninterested and uneffected when he's really fucking screaming internally from frustration.

Ciel bites his lip while he thinks of possible rules. There's only 2 that he can think of, but what if he changes his mind and wants to add more and can't because Sebastian is a stubborn asshole? Ciel huffs.

"Alright. You make a good point, but I don't ask much of you. All that I request from you is that you don't have sex with anyone else when I'm around. I don't want to walk out and see you fucking some guy. I have feelings, you know. And insecurities. You can't just fuck me and decide I wasn't enough and invite someone else. Tell me to leave first at least, it isn't difficult." Ciel stated, watching how Sebastian sighs, tilting his head back and groan.

"Second, I.." Ciel fidgets, biting his lip shyly, "I want to explore kinks. I had a pretty vanilla sex life with Claude and you seem to be okay with exploring.." Ciel was so embarrassed, his mind in jumbles. He likes to consider himself pretty innocent. Until he met Sebastian, anyway.

Sebastian mulls over these rules. Simple enough, not too demanding or time consuming. They're fair, and don't ask anything emotionally from him. A perfect situation that he can easily be on board with.

"I agree. As for kinks, I think we should go over what you want to try and complete a list of what's in out comfort area, and whether you want to go into a BDSM branch. If you decide so, I need time to study subspace and the recovery for it so I can properly take care of you." Sebastian says, making Ciel's eyes go wide in surprise.

Ciel was ecstatic. Sebastian didn't even give one judgemental look or even hesitate. And subspace? What the fuck is that exactly? I guess he'll find out one day. Ciel was just excited, walking closer to Sebastian and getting on his tip toes to give a soft kiss to those pink lips.

"Thank you, Sebastian." Ciel whispers, smiling and grabbing his hand, leading him to the bed.

"Now eat my ass to celebrate."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey how's it goin?**

**So here's the next chapter.**

**I don't even know what this is anymore, I was in a odd mood.**

* * *

After coming twice because of Sebastian's tongue, they lay in the bed in silence. It wasn't awkward or in an angry manner, just two guys thinking about stuff.

Ciel's brain, however, was on a weird fucking topic.

Panties.

And why was this on his mind? He has the urge to feel pretty, which okay, that's normal, but it was new to him and the idea kind of freaked him out.

But fuck, he had the hips for it.

"What do you think of my tummy?" Ciel asks, looking down at it and gripping his pudge with his fingers, a frown on his face. He's trying to picture himself in a pair of panties, trying to see if he'd look fat or not in them. The pudge gets to him. He's so squishy.

Sebastian looked at him and raised an eyebrow, turning onto his side and holds his head up with his hand, moving the other one to Ciel's soft tummy. His favorite place, that and his ass.

"You have a very soft and squishy tummy. I wanna bury my face in it and leave marks all over it." Sebastian said in the calmest most honest voice Ciel has ever heard in his life and it caused him to blush furiously.

"You don't think I'm too fat?"

Bad mistake.

Sebastian was suddenly on top of him, his lips pressed to Ciel's tummy, sucking little marks on it, making Ciel whine and try to move away from the onslaught of attacks.

"Stop!" Ciel giggled loudly as Sebastian blew a raspberry on his tummy, running his adnormally soft fingers along his side, almost as if... He's tickling... Ciel.

What the fuck?

"St-STOP! SEBASTIAN IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" Ciel screamed, whining and giggling loudly, trying to push Sebastian's head away. He didn't look menacing at all, he looked cute, with his lips bright pink from biting on them when trying to stifle his giggles, his cheeks blushing up fast, his eye closed as he tried to stop laughing.

"How do you expect to kick my ass when you're not even half my height? On top of that, you're skinny and little and oh so.." Sebastian paused, shrugging his shoulders before finishing his sentence, "cute."

Ciel pouted his bottom lip out, whining from how nice Sebastian was being.

"I wanna top you one day."

Sebastian busted out laughing, burying his face in what Ciel calls his pudge, nearly crying from so hard. "You can't fucking top me!"

"And why not, Sebastian? I could fuck ya up." Ciel said, pouting even harder and raised his eyebrow.

"You're never gonna be on top of me unless you're riding my cock, Ciel." Sebastian said, trying to stop from laughing, slightly breathless.

"Fine, I'll take you from behind then."

Sebastian choked on his spit and laughed even harder, getting up and stretching, wiping his eyes from the few tears that fell from laughing so hard. "Let's get breakfast and go to the store."

Ciel groaned loudly before getting up and obeying.

* * *

"By store, I thought you meant a grocery store, not a fucking SEX SHOP, SEBASTIAN. WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE."

See, Ciel was embarrassed. The kinkiest thing he's ever done in bed is with Sebastian on his desk. He was super vanilla, only doing missionary, slow thrusts because he thought he liked it that way.

He's never seen the inside of a sex shop, didn't even know what was inside of one to begin with. All he can picture is ridiculous bondage stuff that scared the fuck out of him. Like some insane shit like that one metal thing that puts ya in the fuckin' air and shit and he was completely and utterly not down for that, even though he wouldn't admit that it made his cock twitch a little bit.

Fuck off.

"You said you wanted to explore kinks, so I wanted to take you here and let you browse. I wanna see what interests you and what puts you off. Plus they got flavored lube and that sounds nice." Sebastian shrugs and grips Ciel's hand, pulling him into the store with him, ending the argument quickly.

Ciel opened his eye widely, taking in the vast amount of merchandise. There was dlidos, viberators, candies shaped as penis and vagina, PENIS COOKIE MOLDS, a whole entire section filled of lubes and condoms, even a light bondage isle full of handcuffs and whips and such. It was like a culture shock.

"So just from what we've done so far, I've noticed you're into pain. How much pain is to be discovered, though. So I was thinking we can check out maybe some whips, paddles, i don't know. Something I can spank your ass with."

Ciel gulped, his cock twitching at the idea of getting spanked. He was embarrassed, unebelievably so, but he was so greatful that Sebastian was very calm, looking over different kind of whips and paddles, holding up one that had holes in them to make it hurt more when you bring it down on someone's ass.

"I- oh... okay." Ciel stuttered, looking over at the viberators and buttplugs longlingly, a whine caught in his throat when he thought of having one up his ass.

It was fucking humiliating when a clerk came up to him.

"Hello, sir! Is there anything I could help you with today? You seem a little confused, and I'd be glad to help!" He smiled so big and nicey, his blonde hair wild and his big green eyes that held nothing but kindness and no judgment.

"Um.. Sure? I.. I'm not really familiar with anything... and I don't know what any of... um..." Ciel was embarrassingly tripping over his words, raising a weak finger to point at the buttplugs. That interested him, mostly because it was the one thing he really had an idea about.

"Sure! My name is Finny, and I'll be glad to help! SO! These are called buttplugs, and they are used for many things, really! Depending on what you're interested in. We have standard ones, all in different sizes, we even have the HUGE ones for people who really like the stretch! We have ones that come with remotes, that turn on a viberation. Those are wonderful for doing other activities with! There's also anal beads, which go from smaller to bigger, and are spent to stretch you out more slowly. I'd go into detail of what you can do with buttplugs, but I feel that'd be a tad inappropriate!" Finny giggled, smiling brightly at Ciel as he continued, "Since you seem pretty new to this, I'd do with a more smaller or medium sized one, depending if you've ever inserted anything inside of you before. If you are new to anything anal, I'd suggest a smaller size, but if you're comfortable with it and have experience, I'd suggest a medium one!"

Ciel nodded enthusiastically, barely noticing when Sebastian came and stood by him and listened as well, watching Ciel with interest, his lips twitching threatening to smile, his hand on Ciel's lower back as Ciel, widened his eyes at the information coming at him.

"Um well.. I'm very interested in the viberating ones, but would that be too overwhelming? I'm pretty sensitive and don't wanna like, hurt myself or I don't k-.. know." Ciel stammered, his cheeks flushing and looking down at his shoes.

"Oh! Depending on your sensitivity, it can be overwhelming, which is why I'd reccomend you have a partner around just in case! There is a possibility if you used correctly, that you could enter subspace and that is very dangerous to enter while alone!" Finny explained, picking up a medium sized buttplug, purple and a slight glittery offtone to it. "Personal experience, this is my favorite. This has the option of different speeds of viberations which helps for sensitive people. There's a low setting, which is just a light buzz for teasing, medium for more intense, which if you're VERY Sensitive, you'll need someone there. High is for, well, if you're really into it and really wanna wreck yourself, so to speak. This is nice because you have the option of using it alone with the low setting, so it's fine to experiement! Other ones only have one viberation setting so I don't reccomend that for you." Finny explained calmly and it was so helping to Ciel, it actually made him smile big that he could actually understand.

"How much is that one?" Ciel asked polietly, taking it gently from the boy's hands and studied it, playing with the viberation settings. He felt Sebastian's heavy gaze, but it didn't feel menacing or anything so he ignored it.

"That one is $75.00" Ciel choked on his own spit, his eyes widening.

"U-Uh-" He was interrupted by Sebastian quickly.

"Thank you, very much, Finny. We will take it." Sebastian smiled polietly, a paddle and handcuffs held in his hand, causing Finny to grin at him, as if he knew what the fuck they were doing.

"Of course! It'll be sitting at the desk waiting for your checkout. If you have anymore questions, Ciel, please ask me!" He smiled big at me, turning on his heels and walking back to the register, buttplug in his hand.

"Oh man that was embarrassing." Ciel said, staring at his feet and couldn't stop blushing.

Sebastian chuckled quietly, rubbing Ciel's lower back. "You're acting like it's weird when it's completely natural, Ciel. Now wonder around some more and see what interests you. I'm just gonna keep looking for more quality paddles and such, since I know you're into that already." Ciel nodded and walked away from Sebastian.

Ciel wondered around for 15 minutes, looking at all the lubes and different toys throughout the store, nothing really interesting him anymore until he hit the isles and isles of girl panties, bras, slutty outfits and his heart sped up.

This was his number one kink. To feel pretty. To feel silk panties against his cock, and it made him flush even harder. Every sign of sassy and bitchy Ciel was gone, his body siezing up and his breathing picked up, walking towards the silk panties, picking them up with shaky hands.

They were so soft, so amazing and most of all _pretty. _He was humiliated to be looking at this, but it made a whine get caught in his throat, his body shivering at the thought of wearing them.

He wonders how Sebastian would feel if he saw him looking at this stuff. Grossed out? Confused? He didn't know, but he continued to look around, looking at the lace and costumes, biting on his lip nervously.

"What are you doing over here?" Sebastian said, standing at the enterence of the isle with his eyebrow raised.

Ciel froze, his eyes widening and instantly looking at the floor.

"If you're into this, that's fine. What is it that you want? Silk, lace? All of it?" Sebastian spoke calmly, no trace of judgement in his voice, except Ciel heard a quiver in it. Interesting.

"Um.. silk.. mostly." Ciel mumbled, holding up a silk red thong, lace at the top of it.

Sebastian nodded his head and grabbed them, motioning for Ciel to get more. "Atleast get 2 or 3 more pairs."

Ciel nodded, still not looking at Sebastian as he picked out a pink and baby blue pair.

"Anything else?" Ciel shook his head quickly, racing to Sebastian's side as they made their way over to the register.

They spent, literally, 300 dollars on barely anything. Ciel stared at the bag like it personally offended him, his heart rate still spiked thinking about the panties in there.

Sebastian cleared his throat and smiled at Ciel, moving his hand over to grab his. "I'm happy you had the courage to pick stuff out. It's exciting."

Ciel looked up at him for the first time since before stepping into the store. He knew Sebastian was trying to calm him down, to make him know it was alright, and he appreciated it, he really did.

"Thank you. It means a lot that you did this."

"Now, let's go home and get you in those panties, hm?"

Ciel choked on his spit.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello :) **

**This is just kink filled chapter. Loved writing it, I was fucking sweating.**

**Hope it was worth the wait . :)**

* * *

Ciel can swear he isn't breathing.

He's currently standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and he feels like he's going to fucking choke.

He's shirtless, save for the baby blue silk panties he's wearing, hugging his slim hips just perfectly. It looks amazing against his pale skin, and he feels so pretty, so sexy.

But he's also super nervous.

He doesn't want Sebastian to judge him, or get scared, or think it's ugly, especially when he's feeling his confidence sky rocket through the roof.

"Are you almost done?" He hears Sebastian call and it's like his heart can't calm the fuck down.

He's really going to do this, and he's so fucking eager and excited.

Ciel smiles to himself and takes a deep breath before opening the door and stepping out, eyeing Sebastian that's currently sat on the bed with all his clothes on still, looking down at his phone and that simply won't fucking do.

"Baby." Ciel whispers, walking up to Sebastian with a sway in his tiny little hips, stopping in front of him and looking down at him, grabbing his phone and throwing it on the bed.

"Pay attention to me." Ciel demands, putting on a big pout that's just way too cute and innocent for what he's standing there wearing.

Sebastian freezes once he sees Ciel, swallowing hard and just wanting to touch, touch, and touch. He wants to mark those thighs, his stomach, everywhere he can reach with his mouth, and that's what he sets out to do.

He grips Ciel's hips tightly, pushing him towards his waiting mouth, hearing him let out a squeak. He starts kissing at his stomach like a starving animal, just wanting to taste the boy. His skin is so soft against his lips, almost feeling like silk, and it spurs him on even farther.

He slaps and grips Ciel's ass so tight it makes him let out a loud moan, letting his eyes slip closed as he listens to the noises he makes, kneading his perfectly plump ass in his hands as he drags his lips to his hip bones, giving them a hard suck to leave his mark.

His mark of possession, because this is his fucking boy. This pretty, pale beauty is his and he won't stand for anything less than that and he won't let anyone touch him without knowing Sebastian was here previously, got to see his boy in panties.

His boy. Sounds fucking weird in his head, and he would care if he wasn't so starved to get his mouth on those supple thighs.

He's biting and sucking at every inch of skin he can get to, refusing to let go of his ass. He drags his lips to the top of Ciel's thighs, sucking and marking and groaning loudly after seeing how marked up he is.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Sebastian." Ciel moans out, all he's feeling is the pre-cum soaking his panties, so wet it hurts. He wants Sebastian to touch his cock so bad he lets out a loud whimper.

Sebastian grips his hips once again, turning him around and bending him in a way it makes the boy's back arch and his ass pop out, and Sebastian wastes no time pushing those panties to the side and letting his tongue go straight for his hole, letting his fat tongue circle that pink rim in slow circles, not letting it prod inside.

Ciel moans loudly under his breath, letting his head fall forward, his hair falling into his eyes and lets himself feel the pleasure, let's himself feel like he's fucking drowning and it's amazing. He feels like his skin is on fire, something threatening to erupt from his stomach. He feels like he's 2 seconds from cumming, but also no where near cumming.

Sebastian growls and eats his ass with vigor, eating his ass so fast and eager that spit is falling all down his chin, the ass so wet with his spit that it should be disgusting but it isn't. It's Sebastian's favorite flavor, loving the taste on his tongue and sounds coming from the petite boy. He lets his tongue slip inside of him, slowly stretching him out for what's to come.

He fucks Ciel with his tongue as hard and deep as he can, slapping an ass cheek with one of his hands so hard it leaves a bright red mark, feeling Ciel start to grind back against his tongue, moaning his name so loud it's driving him insane.

He's drowning in a sea of Ciel, only Ciel, and he's never felt better.

Ciel is about to go fucking insane if he can't sit on that cock soon. He wants to feel so full that he feels it in his fucking stomach. "Sebastian, baby, please let me sit on your cock."

He hears Sebastian let out a loud growl and suddenly he's turned around again, watching as Sebastian takes his shirt off. He eagerly straddles his lap and just starts grinding against his cock, whining because it's still hidden from his view because of his evil fucking jeans that shouldn't even exist.

He feels Sebastian grips his ass and makes him grind harder against his clothed cock, feeling lips against his neck, a hard suck making him moan under his breath.

Sebastian runs one hand to Ciel's pantie covered cock, feeling the material soaked through with so much pre cum. "You're so fucking wet for me, darling." Ciel nods his head fast, biting his lip so hard it almost bleeds.

"So wet for daddy, so so wet. Want your giant cock in my hole, daddy, please." Ciel is babbling, not even knowing what he's saying.

Sebastian feels something inside of him snap when he hears Ciel call him daddy. Literally fucking crumble, and suddenly just wants to wreck him until he cries, cumming atleast 15 times on his cock.

He lifts Ciel enough to take his jeans off, impressed by his ability to hold him and rip his jeans off. His boxers come off just as quick, and Ciel whines so loud, just letting out babble when he sees that thick red angry looking cock just waiting for something to sit on it.

He wants to fucking sit on it.

So he does, so quickly he screams because he doesn't even want it to be slow. He wants to feel it, he wants it to hurt. He puts his small hands on those broad shoulders, and starts riding his cock slow at first, letting it stay so deep inside of him he can feel it in his stomach, just like he wanted. He rotates those small hips in circles, his breath coming in hard pants at the feeling.

He already feels like he's going to cum, and he notices he's crying already and he hasn't even been fucked like he wants.

Sebastian grips that ass tight and snaps his hips down, and back up with so much force it nearly knocks Ciel off, hearing Ciel let out an approving whine/ moan type mixture that goes straight to his cock. He feels the boy start to bounce with so much eagerness he has to shut his eyes tight to keep from cumming just because Ciel wants it so bad, needs it so bad he's literally shaking in his arms.

Ciel bounces so hard and so fast, the angle perfect that it's hitting his prostate everytime he grinds down, and suddenly he cums, untouched, right in his panties because he didn't even have the patience to take them off. He's letting out high pitched moans and whimpers, whispering daddy under his breath as he cums, feeling Sebastian thrust up into him without slowing down.

He's suddenly picked up and thrown onto his back and without a break, Sebastian is thrusting back inside of him and pounds into his sensitive ass, making Ciel's back arch and head throw back as he feels so much pain that it feels good, making him feel so conflicted.

Ciel barely notices that he's crying until Sebastian licks them off his cheek, groaning against it as Ciel's ass eagerly sucks back in his cock, tightening and gripping at it like it has a mind of it's own.

Ciel grips and tugs at Sebastian's hair hard as he feels his cock thicken back up, whimpering so loud you'd think he's getting hurt but he's not. He's feeling so much way too soon and he wants to cum but also beg Sebastian to stop, but he can't. His body feels like it's out of this world, his mind is so cloudy he can't think of anything but Sebastian. Sebastian so close to him, gripping him so tight and anchoring him to the ground.

"Daddy, daddy, oh god, daddy. It hurts." Ciel babbles, moving his hips with the hard thrusts, running his hand to his nipples without even thinking about it and gives it a squeeze, letting out a loud moan as he cums once again, his body shaking so hard, barely able to breathe.

Sebastian cums as Ciel's ass clenches around him tight, groaning loud against Ciel's neck, breathing hard, biting onto the skin as he lets the pleasure course through him.

He gently slips out of Ciel, taking off his panties lightly, careful to not hurt Ciel from oversensitivity.

He runs his fingers through his hair gently, and whispers tiny encouragements in his ears, just like he read about, studied about in order to be good for Ciel.

"Sweetheart, come back to me, yeah? Want my snappy Ciel back. Give me that attitude, honey." He just keeps babbling, babying him until he opens his eyes and looks at Sebastian.

"Hey bitch." Ciel whispers, smiling lightly. He still feels floaty, but oh well.

Sebastian laughs softly, laying down next to Ciel on his side, pulling him into him. This calls for cuddling. He may be an asshole, but he doesn't want to hurt Ciel in any way.

"Welcome back."

Ciel nods, letting out a breath and curls up against Sebastian, closing his eyes again and letting out a yawn.

"I need to sleep, bye you fucking animal."

Sebastian just grins, letting his eyes slip shut as well, getting some much needed sleep they both deserve.


	11. Chapter 11

"So, want to talk about it?"

They are currently laying in pitch darkness, just listening to each other breathe until Sebastian had to end the comfortable silence.

"Not really."

He doesn't want to talk about it at all. The panties part was amazing, it was fun, he felt good. What he doesn't want to talk about is the fact he actually called someone daddy.

Fucking daddy. He has no idea where that came from. He felt small and pretty and fragile and just blurted it out. He didn't really understand what he was saying at the time.

"We have to, though. If this is about you feeling embarrassed, don't. I oddly enjoyed it, more than enjoyed it." Sebastian is oddly calm, talking with the softest voice Ciel has heard from the man. This is out of character, Sebastian usually firm and authoritive. It's comforting but odd for Ciel at the same time.

"This is just so new and weird for me. I went from vanilla sex to wearing panties and calling you daddy and getting my ass ate like everyday within the span of a few days."

"Do.. Do you want your ass ate again?"

Ciel whines loudly and smacks Sebastian's shoulder, pouting. "Shut up, Sebastian. I thought you're trying to have a serious conversation with me."

"I am, I'm sorry. Look." Sebastian sits up a little bit, running his fingers down Ciel's cheek gently, grabbing his chin and lifting his head to make him look at him. "I'll do anything you want. I'll do it with no judgement, I'll stop when you tell me to, and I'll do any after care needed afterwards. This is like, a safe place, okay?" Sebastian says it softly, almost in a whisper. He knows this is way out of character for him, but something inside of him is screaming at him to try.

Ciel bites his lip a little and leans up to press a soft kiss to Sebastian's lip, smiling a little. "Thank you. I liked it, I liked calling you daddy, I liked everything last night. Especially, like... When you um.. Marked me up?" His cheeks feel like they're on fire from blushing so hard.

Sebastian nods. "Great, cause I liked doing it. Next on our list is the paddle, maybe handcuff you and fuck you. How do you feel about being called... certain things?"

"What kind of things?"

"Like, feminine pet names. Princess, baby, pretty, baby girl."

Ciel's eye widens, blushing even harder because the idea of it makes something spark inside of him, making him feel all sorts of turned on and it's humiliating. He nods anyway, unable to say anything.

"Well alright, princess. Let's eat some food, hm?" Sebastian gets up and heads to the kitchen without putting on clothes, just stark butt ass naked.

Ciel lets out a loud sigh and stretches before standing up, cringing a little at the dull ache in his ass. He walks over to Sebastian's closet and picks out a red sweater that's way too big for him but puts it on anyway, deciding on no pants since the sweater goes down to his knees.

His hair is a mess, his skin feels blauchy and his eyes look tired and heavy and he knows it. But, he walks out to where Sebastian is standing over the stove, cooking what looks like pancakes and Ciel lets a big smile wash over his face.

It feels oddly domestic for what they are to each other.

Ciel walks into the kitchen and hops up onto the counter, the sweater riding up on his thighs a little bit but still covering his intimate parts.

"So, what's the kinkiest thing you've done?" Ciel asks, swaying his legs back and forth, looking at Sebastian with curiosity.

"Surprisingly I'm not very kinky. Just liked being called master, doing wild sexual positions, tied someone up once but that's about it, really. I've never cared enough to try going into kinks."

Ciel nods, biting on the tip of his thumb. "Is it weird that I like how you make me feel small?"

Sebastian grins and turns to face Ciel, walking over and standing between Ciel's parted legs, putting his hands on his thighs. "You like feeling small? Well, that's good because you're tiny. Everything about you is tiny except that ass of yours."

Ciel grunts and looks up at Sebastian and puts on his best smile, wrapping his legs around his hips, dragging his hands up his chest and settles them on his neck. "Kiss me?"

Sebastian leans down and gives him a soft loud obnoxious kiss, moving Ciel's legs off his hips and laughs at the pout Ciel sends him. He turns back to the pancakes.

"Sebastiannnnnnnn" Ciel whines, feeling annoying but he wants attention, god damnit.

"Stop, we have to eat."

Ciel grins when he gets an idea, remembering how Sebastian reacted lastnight.

He wants fucking attention and he'll get it.

"Daddy, please, pay attention to me?" He says in the most innocent, soft sounding voice he can possibly do, batting his eyelashes at Sebastian when he turns to look at him.

Suddenly it's not funny anymore when he's picked up in a rough way and kissed so hard he sees stars.


	12. Chapter 12

_no settling down, my text go to your screen_

_you know better than that_

_i come around when you least expect me_

_i'm sitting at the bar when your glass is empty_

_you thinking that the songs coming on to tempt me_

_i need to be alone like the way you left me_

**_2 weeks later_**

Sebastian has clearly been blind to everything going on around him, blinded by so much sex, blinded by the cute boy he's been obsessive over, so possesive and wanting to do nothing but please him that he hasn't noticed something happening in his apartment.

He wakes up to an empty bed, the side cold but made. He yawns loud, stretching and getting out of bed to start on some paper work for a job his boss asked him to handle. As he was using the restroom, he notices small things.

Ciel's toothbrush, his cologne, shaving products and some weird fucking moisturizer shit, just tiny things that slowly started to appear without his attention. It sets a panic within him.

What the fuck is happening here?

He rushes to his bedroom again, noticing the clothes that are definitely not his hanging up in the closet. He opens his drawers, seeing underwear that isn't his, seeing the panties laying neatly on the right side.

This cannot be happening.

He runs around the entire apartment, noticing the smallest fucking things that scream that 2 people live here. Together. When the fuck did this happen?

He doesn't do this. He doesn't live with people, he doesn't catch feelings, he doesn't sleep with the same person more than once. Everything happening around him is unbalanced and doesn't feel right. It doesn't make him feel like himself.

He's definitely panicking, which is another thing he doesn't do.

And the most annoying part is he still misses Ciel, wondering if he's having a good day, being safe, if he's dressed nice and smelling good. If he's with another man or not and it's fucking ridiculous that a spark of jealousy burns within him so strong that it angers him.

Anger is coursing through him. Panic has disappeared and now he wants everything else to disappear. He wants the small items gone, he wants his space back, he wants himself back.

He doesn't DO attachment. He physically can't do attachment.

Maybe he's being irrational when he decides to do his next action, which is angrily pack Ciel's shit up. He forcefully shoves his shit in suitcases, every item disappearing into the bag, the more empty the apartment already feels. But he pushes through, breathing so heavily he might be on the verge of a breakdown.

What the fuck is happening to him?

"Sebastian, chill the fuck out. Get ahold of yourself." He slaps himself for good measure, trying to calm himself down.

An hour goes by of him panicking, getting angry, getting sad and then angry again as he packs everything up and he carefully drags the suit cases to the front door and sits on the couch, putting his head down between his arms and just breathes, pondering his decision.

He needs to end this. He can't do this, he just wanted a fuck buddy, someone he can appreciate in the sack, do some wild shit in the bed, which they haven't really ventured into lately which should of been a red flag. Lately they've been pretty vanilla, just him eating his ass and fucking him hard. Nothing wild has happened since the panty incident.

He's just having sex with Ciel to do it, because he just wants Ciel.

This conflicting feelings inside of him is enough to make him want to just pack up all his shit and move to another city, where Ciel can't find him, where Ciel doesn't exist, where Ciel isn't walking around, working in a coffee shop. Where he can't run into Ciel, and smell him, remember how he felt against him.

The idea of Ciel not being here makes him ache and he can't do it.

So he takes a deep breath, gets up and gets ready for the day with determination coursing through his veins.

* * *

Ciel is humming as he walks up to the apartment door, smiling to himself because he had such a good day, everything went so well. He even had a conversation with Alois, learning the boy isn't too bad after all. They oddly get along really well, and since Ciel has basically moved on, he doesn't mind the fact that he's fucking his ex.

Though, he does believe Alois does deserve better.

They exchanged numbers, been texting since he left work for the day and it's been nice.

_wanna have a little dinner date later? there's this nice ass sushi place i wanna try and you're my only friend._

Ciel opens the apartment door, looking down at his phone as he lets out a laugh at Alois's text message, grinning to himself as he types out his response.

_yeah sure! im down for whenever :)_

As he looks up, he sees suit cases and raises an eyebrow.

"Sebastian? Is someone here?" He calls out, hearing a grunt in response and footsteps coming towards him.

He lets out a big smile at the sight of Sebastian. He looks amazing in skin tight black jeans, his shirt unbuttoned and his hair a mess. It looks like he just woke up, and it always takes his breath away when he sees Sebastian, but this is pleasantly better than usual.

"Yeah, actually."

Ciel nods his head with a smile. "Who is it then? A friend of yours?"

"Someone I was about to fuck, actually."

Ciel freezes, his smile dropping right off his face.

"What?" Ciel whispers, looking up at Sebastian, begging with his eyes for him to be lying, to be fucking with him.

"Yeah." Sebastian says nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

"We.. We had a deal.." He whispers under his breath, looking down at his shoes, his heart feeling like it's being squeezed tightly, an odd feeling tugging at him. He's hurt, beyond hurt, and he knows they are just fuck buddies, someone to fuck and cuddle and be nice to each other afterwards. But it hurts.

"Yeah, well, deals change. I packed your shit, I don't know how you subtly moving in fucking happened but it did and that's not alright. So, yeah." Sebastian turns and makes a move to walk away when a hand grabs at his elbow.

"Sebastian, stop, please. What is happening? Are we going to be okay? Are we done? What is this? I'm so confused, I didn't do anything. I've slept with you, I've been nice to you, I've cooked you meals. You.. You treated me so well, don't do this to me right now. Don't drag me along like this." Ciel says desperately, on the verge of crying but he refuses to cry. He won't let himself cry until he's alone.

"You're right. I shouldn't drag you into a false sense of security, or let you get expectations in your head so we're done with whatever this is. It can't go on."

Ciel is fucking angry now.

"What the fuck are you afraid of?" Ciel screams, taking deep breaths after to stop himself from crying or laughing hysterically.

Sebastian turns to look at him and grins, but inside he's fucking screaming at himself for the next words he blurts out. "You were just another hole for me to fuck and it's obvious you've developed feelings. I don't have any fear, I laid it out about what I wanted and didn't want. You should probably sit back and think about that."

Ciel breaks inside. He feels his heart get broken for the second him in his lifetime and it's not too far apart either. Maybe this is his fault, he won't try to lie to himself by saying he hasnt developed feelings. Sebastian treated him so well, made him feel so appreciated and that's gone.

_Just another hole for me to fuck._

He repeats it over and over in his head, desperately trying to grasp at the meaning but he can't. He refuses to believe he doesn't have feelings for him. Sebastian looked at him with so much adoration, was so gentle and tried so hard to make him comfortable, feel safe, and you don't do that for just anybody.

**He has to be somebody.**

" I was somebody." He whispers, turning around and picking up his suitcases, opening the door and shutting it without looking back, without explaining what he meant by his words.

He had nowhere to go, oddly relied on Sebastian without even realizing it.

He was alone, and for the first time in years and he doesn't know what to do. He's scared, he's hurt, and he finally lets the tears fall and let's the gravity of the situation dawn on him as he walks to his car, letting out a loud sob as he gets situated inside of it.

He gets his phone out of his pocket and calls up the only person he sadly has.

_"I need someone to talk to, please? I'm begging."_

_"Sure, babe. Meet me at Four Corners, okay?"_

_"Thank you."_

* * *

He arrives at the little cafe, wiping his tears and taking deep breaths to calm himself.

He gets out of the car when he feels like he collected himself enough to face his friend. He opens the door and spots the blonde boy immediately, feeling relief rush through him in an overwhelming wave. Just the fact he gets to talk to someone calms him greatly.

Alois smiles at him as he watches Ciel sit down, immediately frowning when he sees the red puffy eyes and whines.

"Baby! What's the matter!"

"Sebastian like, ended, whatever we had. Kind of rudely too. He um," He clears his throat, his next sentence making him want to throw up. "he said I was just another hole for him to fuck and that he knows I have feelings, basically and that can't um, happen."

He feels like he's suffocating, feeling the tears wanting to leak out again but he holds them at bay.

"What the fuck? What a prick! I remember when he came into the bakery and saw me smiling at you he gave me some fucking murderous look. That fucking giant giraffe can't sit there and pretend he doesn't feel shit either, whether it's love, like, or even possessive, like fuck off, you know?" Alois sounds proper angry on the behalf of Ciel, and he really wants to beat that giant's ass.

Ciel gives Alois a watery smile ,busting out into tears. "Why does nobody want me?"

Alois rises immediately from his chair, running to his friend's side and wraps his thin arms around him tightly, giving him little kisses all over, shushing him. "Oh, no, sweetie. Everything happens for a reason, right? Claude and me happened for what I believe is for us to meet, and for you and Sebastian to sleep together. I have faith this will turn out good, just please don't cry, okay? I'm here. I'll be here whenever you need me too, no matter what fucking time, you got it?"

Ciel nods, sniffeling and turns his head to bury it in Alois's neck, shutting his eyes tightly and mumbles out, "I need a place to stay. I was staying with him."

Alois nods. "No problem, my house is your house. Anything of mine is yours, okay?"

Ciel feels overwhelming happy to have Alois. He went from wanting to murder him to wanting to fucking marry him platonically.

"Now let's get your sad ass a cupcake and go to my house and get you settled and cuddle until you're feeling tired enough to not be sad. Day one is always the hardest and that's the most I can promise."

Ciel nods sadly and smiles slightly, fixing his hair and gets up to go to the counter to order a fucking cupcake because he deserves one.

Day one with this hole in his heart, and he hopes he doesn't have many days like this left. It's been a fucking hour.


	13. Chapter 13

_Tell me pretty lies,_

_Look me in the face,_

_Tell me that you love me,_

_Even if it's fake,_

_'Cause I don't fucking care, at all_

**_Day 2_**

Day 1 consisted of eating junk food and passing out after crying himself to sleep, which makes him feel ridiculous considering the fact that he was only "with" sebastian for about 3 weeks.

It's really strange that he didn't even realize his own feelings until the fight that occurred, making him stay up until he just couldn't anymore, thinking of when this really happened.

He knew the rules, he knew what Sebastian did and didn't want and he really thought it was okay. He didn't even notice himself slowly moving in, didn't even let himself think that he didn't truly have a home to go to besides Sebastian, him and Claude's place surely not his anymore.

Now it's day 2 and he refuses to get out of bed and it's 3 pm, and he's just so tired and drained. He didn't sleep well, considering he's grown accustomed to somebody holding him at night, whether it was Claude or Sebastian. He hasn't been alone since he was 14 years old.

He doesn't know what to do with himself, or how to cope. The emotions of losing Claude and now Sebastian quickly catching up to him. He isn't sad about losing Claude, he kind of saw it coming, it's the fact that he decided on somebody else besides him.

He decided he wasn't good enough, and didn't even have the courtesy of leaving him before sleeping with somebody else.

He was foolish to think him and Sebastian would work. Ciel is sensitive, he doesn't have it in him to do something with no connection. He is incapable of not letting himself get feelings and he shouldn't of even jumped into this without thinking with anything other than his dick.

Now that's a lie, only thinking with his dick. But he won't acknowledge that for a while.

He just wants somebody to care, and he hates himself for not being good enough for even that.

_Just a hole for me to fuck._

Maybe that's all he's really good for.

So he continues to lay there, occasionally crying, just thinking. Starting to feel a little numb, and he doesn't even notice the time ticking away, 4 hours passing by without him moving what so ever.

He feels a weight jump onto the bed and he lets out a huff. "Leave me alone, Alois." He's not in the mood and at the moment he feels like he will never be in the mood for anything ever again.

"Ciel, I'm not going to let you just lay here and act like you're dying. Get out of bed, at least to eat with me, please? I ordered us some chinese food." Alois says, smiling sadly at the lump of sadness. He moves Ciel onto his back and gently straddles his hips and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead. "C'mon, boo."

Ciel sighs loudly, closing his eyes and basking in the attention secretly, letting himself feel like he's cared for even if its for a brief amount of time. He really loves Alois right now, don't know where he'd be without him.

Ciel nods his head, succumbing to his fate and taps Alois on the hip. "Let me up, then."

Alois smiles big, and jumps off of Ciel and stands, holding his hand out for his friend to take.

Ciel get's out of bed for exactly one hour, letting Alois talk to him and eats a little bit of food, not really having a big appetite, but he considers it a win.

He got up for one hour.

* * *

_**Day 3**_

Day 3 is slightly better. He actually decides to get up at 12 pm this time to shower and change his clothes. He hasn't bathed since the night before the fight, and he feels gross. He knows a shower would help, make him relax and ease the ache inside of him for at least a little bit.

He stands and walks to his suit case, opening it up to find an outfit. He just wants a sweater and some shorts so he doesn't get too hot. He's rummaging around, looking for a sweater when he finds Sebastian's red sweater. He instantly frowns at it.

Sebastian must of packed it without realizing it was his, which is stupid because it's way too big on Ciel.

Memories flash in his mind of the night he wore it. They were happy that day, giggling into each other's mouths and Ciel kept calling him daddy to ease him on, get him all hot and bothered and he remembers Sebastian holding him on the couch afterwards, looking at him with so much fondness and it makes Ciel's chest ache and it brings tears to his eyes again. He brings the sweater up to his nose and inhales, taking in the smell of Sebastian, warm and so so there that it's making him cry hard without even realizing it.

It smells like cinnamon and apples. Like comfort. He stupidly decides that he's going to wear it, hauling himself to the bathroom to take a shower.

After his shower, he puts on the sweater, sniffeling as he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, letting the sweet smell of Sebastian attack his senses.

That's when Alois decides to come in and check up on him, seeing the look on Ciel's face and frowns, crawling into the bed and laying behind Ciel, bringing him into his arms and just holds him without a word, rocking him as he starts crying.

Day 3 hurts, and all he wants is for it to get better.

* * *

**-Warning-**

_**Day 4**_

Day 4 is a horribly bad day. Ciel feels insanely lonely. And he makes a very bad choice, that he knows he shouldn't do but he can't think straight, just wanting attention, wanting to be touched, wanting to feel needed and wanted.

So he gets out of bed, wearing clothes too big for him that make him seem so small and fragile and he eyes Alois. He's sitting on the couch, eating vanilla wafers and watching some dumb modeling show and Ciel just wants attention.

Ciel walks over and plucks the box of cookies out of Alois' hands and places himself in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and lays his head on his shoulder.

"You okay, Ciel?" Is all Alois says, thinking nothing out of the ordinary of this encounter, so he just rubs his back, pulling him a little closer and continues watching his show.

Bad idea.

Ciel moves to look at Alois and pouts, letting out a huff that makes Alois look away from the tv and at Ciel. "What?"

Ciel kisses him, and hard.

Ciel knows this is stupid. Ciel knows that this is a bad coping mechanisim. He knows deep down he doesn't want Alois, but Sebastian. He knows this is loneliness and fear taking over his body, but he wants attention, he wants to feel wanted. He wants the pain out of his mind like Sebastian did when it came to Claude.

Alois is frozen under him, but then he quickly responds, putting his hands on Ciel's hips as they kiss quite frantically. Ciel places his hands on Alois' neck, licking into his mouth, catching the little moans, embedding it onto his tongue and memory.

Quite frankly, 2 bottoms don't make a top, but they aren't really thinking of that right now.

Ciel grabs Alois' hands and puts them onto his ass and starts grinding down, feeling his ass get squeezed and this is exactly what he wanted. What he needed. He's grinding down so hard he needs to catch his breath, to let out a loud moan and tilts his head back as he moves his hips in little circles. Alois automatically latches onto his neck, giving the skin a hard suck, making the other boy moan and grip onto his hair.

"Mark me, mark me please." He wants to feel owned and this is so horrible. He wants to cum and it's all he wants right now. He has this sick idea in his mind that if Alois marks him up, Sebastian will magically see or fucking feel it in his senses and get mad and demand Ciel back. But Ciel knows that's a reach but he doesn't care, but the thought makes him grind down faster, breathing heavier as Alois nods his head and marks his neck up, biting and sucking, gripping on Ciel's ass and forcing him to go faster.

Alois is slightly panicking inside, he's never been like, a top. He hasn't been the one to give pleasure, so when Ciel moans out for him to get his fingers inside of him, he freezes for a second, his eyes going wide.

He just wants his friend to feel better, and he has a guilt feeling sicking down into his heart, but he does what Ciel asks of him, slipping his hands into the boxers and rubbing the tip of his finger against his rim, hearing the boy's breath falter for a moment.

Ciel loses it when a finger slides inside of him, dry and painful, but he needs it, he's starved for it, so he grinds down against it, moaning under his breath as he moves a hand down, shoving it into Alois' pants and rubs the palm of his hand against the erection, making Alois groan, biting into his shoulder hard, making Ciel moan out his name loudly.

That's when it crashes in his mind, the illusion. "I'm not Sebastian, Ciel."

Ciel freezes and looks at Alois, his mind going cloudy. "I'm sorry. I'm so-"

He's interrupted by a hard kiss and another finger pushing inside of him, thrusting into him quick and hard, making him forget everything again and starts riding the fingers, feeling them brush against his prostate, feeling himself get frantic with it, on the edge of cumming.

He clenches around the fingers and cums hard into his pants, a loud moan coming out of his mouth, his body shaking from the force of his orgasm.

He instantly gets onto his knees before he gathers his thoughts, shoving the pants and boxers off and pushes the boy's tip into his mouth and gives a hard suck, closing his eyes and pretends it's Sebastian, massaging the tip with his tongue hard before sinking down, moaning at the taste of pre-cum on his tongue, salty and sharp.

Alois grips onto his hair and tilts his head back, letting out little moans as Ciel bobs his head, slow and with lots of tongue. It's wet and tight in his mouth, making Alois' jaw drop as he just lets himself feel, breathing heavier as his orgasm approaches.

He cums down the boy's throat, hearing Ciel let out a whimper, feeling him swallow it all.

Suddenly Ciel is up and running into the room and slamming the door.

Alois feels like shit.

Day 4 sucks.


	14. Chapter 14

_We messed around until we found_

_The one thing,_

_We said we could never ever_

_Live without,_

_I'm not allowed to talk about it,_

_But I gotta tell you_

_Cause we are who we are,_

_When no ones watching_

_And right from the start,_

_You know I got you._

Alois knows he should go and talk to Ciel, but it feels like his body is weighed down by a million things. His mind is all over the place, in a state of panic, because one, he didn't even view his friend in that way, he knows they'd never work in any kind of relationship. Two, he let it happen, even if he knew why it happened.

The thing is though, he knows exactly what it feels like to need somebody. He knows Ciel hasn't been alone in a long time and it can be weird, hard to deal with, make you feel like you're suffocating. He feels bad that even as he is aware of this, he'd do it all again if it made Ciel feel better for at least a few minutes.

He stands up and takes a deep breath before taking steps to his friends bedroom, biting his lip nervously as he opens the door.

"Babe?" He calls out softly, scared to be a bother.

"I'm sorry."

It's clear Ciel is crying and Alois sighs, stepping into the room and shutting the door softly behind himself and walks to the bed, crawling on it and sits besides Ciel's laying body, and hugs his knees.

"Listen, I know why you did it. I know you don't have any like, secret feelings for me or anything. I get it, you don't need to apologize. I let it happen, if you didn't notice. I just want you to understand that I'm here in any way you need me."

Ciel rolls onto his other side, facing Alois and peeks out from under the blanket and pouts, "You shouldn't have to be there in that sense. I just feel so lost right now."

"I know, babe. That's what Claude was for me." He says the words carefully, them having not talked about this since the moment Ciel caught them together.

Ciel nods and pulls the blanket off him and opens his arms for Alois to cuddle into and he lets out a big smile when Alois gets comfortable. "I wasn't too upset about him, strangely. But, I had Sebastian there to distract me from the dread of it all, you know? I just thought that it was a blessing that Claude left me and like gave me this open door straight into Sebastian. But now that Sebastian is gone, it's catching up to me. Should I be happy it ended with Claude? If that didn't happen, I wouldn't of gotten into this mess with Sebastian."

Alois listens, moving his hand up to run his fingers through Ciel's hair gently and smiles softly at him. "I'm glad it happened, because I wouldn't of met you. Maybe this is a weird twist of fate you know? Maybe Sebastian will come back begging for you and you also got a best friend out of it. I love you to death. To be honest, I didn't even know Claude was with anyone when we were dating, I broke it off the moment I found out about you and him being serious, which was at the house."

Ciel widens his eye, taking in the information. He let the words sink in, the word fate. Is fate real, honestly? It sure feels like it is, with him being unhappy with Claude and having this easy way out, and straight into another man's arms and a new friend coming into his life when he felt utterly alone before. Even if Sebastian were not to come back, he did ease the pain, but it came back even worse with his absence.

"Maybe you're right." Is all Ciel says, closing his eye and cuddling closer into Alois.

* * *

**_Day 5_**

"Oh fuck, oh my god." Ciel moans as his orgasm hits him hard, arching his back and pulling hard on Alois' hair.

See, this didn't exactly stop after their talk. His body is literally marked up by Alois, as if he wants someone to see it and Ciel has a strange feeling it's Sebastian. He doesn't mind though, he gets to not think for an hour or so, and if Sebastian were to see it, well, that's a win for him.

"I have to get ready for work."

Alois pops his head up and pouts. "I just blew you and you're gonna run."

"I'm sorry." Ciel giggles, getting up and running into the bathroom.

He gets out of the shower and smells bacon and eggs and smiles to himself, going into his room to get dressed. He decides he feels himself a litle this morning and puts on a skin tight blue shirt that shows off his little stomach and it's low enough to show his collar bones, and of course the markings. For some reason it makes him feel very sexy.

He puts on black skinny jeans that make his ass look fucking amazing if he says so himself. He turns around to check himself out, smiling big to himself and walks over to his eye patch, putting it over his eye and quickly fixes his fringe.

He steps into the kitchen, humming and smiling to himself.

"OIIII! You look like a fucking twink, damn Ciel!" Alois yells, whistling and giggling, coming up to Ciel and giving him a nice big wet kiss on the cheek and spank on the ass, watching as it jiggles. "Look at your cute little bubble butt. I wanna eat it."

Ciel busts out laughing, pushing Alois away and goes straight for the eggs and bacon, sitting down at the table and digging in. "I feel proper good today."

"It's the blowie."

Ciel giggles, smiling at Alois and nodding his head.

"Maybe."

* * *

He arrives to work and feels Bard's eyes on him, watching him as he goes behind the counter to put on his apron for work. He looks over at Bard and raises an eyebrow. "May I help you? Want a picture?"

"Sorry but why the fuck do you look like you're going to a twink bdsm club and not to work at a coffee shop?"

Ciel shrugs, standing in front of Bard and bops his nose, smiling. "I felt good today, be glad I did. I've been feeling quite shitty for days. I'm surprised I rolled out of bed this morning and ate breakfast, much less come to work."

Bard smiles, just barely though and it fades fast. "Get to work, bud."

Ciel nods and gets to work, helping a customer that was waiting and happily works, having conversations with customers and recieves a few compliments that make him even happier as his shift goes on.

Everything feels okay for once and he's so so so greatful.

He's fixing a customer a coffee when another enters, Ciel just whistling to himself and turns to give the customer his coffee, telling him the total and smiles big, telling them to have a good day. As the next customer steps up, his heart completely shuts down. He swallows hard, staring at the man in front of him.

He's suddenly pissed again.

"Welcome, what can I get you?" He mumbles in a hard voice, cocking his hip with a hand on it.

"Not very polite are you?" Sebastian says.

"What. Can. I. Get. You?" Ciel basically demands, his tone icy and unforgiving.

"I want to talk."

"Fuck no, but I can get you coffee, or maybe a scone, or a cupcake maybe."

"I don't want a fucking cupcake, Ciel."

"Okay so a coffee and scone, what flavor."

"Ciel, seriously."

"Order or get the fuck out."

"Large caramel coffee. Nice hickeys by the way."

"Oh thanks, special, special friend gave them to me as he let me ride his fingers and cum all over his chest. It was nice." Ciel says smoothly as he sets out on making his coffee, his hands shaking a little, his facade hard to keep up.

"Oh I bet." Sebastian says through gritted teeth, his fists clenching. He fucking hated the idea of another man touching Ciel and marking him up just the way he likes. Not helping the situation, he also notices Ciel ass in those jeans and now he wants to commit a murder.

Ciel comes up and hands him his coffee and smiles sickenly sweet at him, "That'll be $5.50, sweetie."

Sebastian throws a 10 at him and storms out, huffing angry and Ciel really wants that angry fucking beast to fuck him.

Day 5 went good to bad real fucking fast and now he's horny.


	15. Chapter 15

_I get to thinking that I, that I should call you_

_I like to think about the first time that I saw you_

_Thinking about you as if I lost you_

**Listen to "Lost You (feat. Twin Shadow &amp; D'Angelo Lacy)" (Official Video) | Zeds Dead **

**While reading this. :)  
**

_Right After Ciel Left, Day 1._

The moment the door closed with a sad, angry Ciel leaving, Sebastian felt a heavy feeling in his chest.

He's had no problems watching people leave as they are mad at him, or even leaving for sure, him knowing they'd never be back again. He's always been good at pushing people away if they got too close, or when he was simply just done with them.

But, something didn't feel right about this one. He feels something that feels way too much like regret, seeping into his heart and bones and making him ache, and he doesn't like it one fucking bit.

He immediately goes into the living room and drops down onto the couch on his back, crossing his legs and lights up a cigarette, closing his eyes and letting his lungs feel the burn.

He didn't really have anybody here, he oddly wouldn't do that. He made a promise to Ciel, and he intended to keep it, not letting him see him with another man. Ciel assuming that just made it easier for him to break the news, and make Ciel not want to come back.

He already misses the boy, frowning a bit when the realization hits him that he may have just fucked up something good. He grunts and smokes his cigarette faster, taking out his phone and dials a random fuck buddy, setting up a date and groans, not liking the odd feeling sitting in his chest and weighing him down.

When the man arrives, he takes his anger out on the body, having an orgasm that doesn't even really feel like anything, making him even angrier.

* * *

_Day 2_

You know when you sit there and really think about your life and choices you've made and just let it seep in that your choices have consequences that you never really noticed until you're in need of something or somebody?

Sebastian realized he wanted someone to talk to, and he really has nobody. He's pushed everyone away like they didn't matter, sometimes even thrown insults their way and just focused on his work, not even bothering to be nice to co-workers or go out with him either.

He's alone, and it really just hit him.

That one guy, Charles from work, tried hard to be Sebastian's friend and he let him down each and everytime. He had a bestfriend in highschool, but dropped him fast after graduation. He has no family, the ones he cared about dead and the others he doesn't even bother with.

He wonders, if he gave Charles a chance, would he be here right now, demanding why he hasn't been to work? Would he notice Sebastian wasn't okay? If he didn't leave his bestfriend, would he be here too? Or would be notice how much Sebastian is worthless, rude, mean, manipulating, a parasite that sucks the happiness out of people that are around him? If he talked to his family, would they even want to talk back?

When you're sitting in a dark room with a pack of cigarettes and just your feelings as company, everything feels kind of empty, blank, pathetic. That's exactly what Sebastian is feeling right now. He used to say that just because he was alone, doesn't mean he's lonely, and right now he's proving himself wrong.

He doesn't understand what is happening to him. Everything was so simple before Ciel came along, changing everything on it's axis and making Sebastian feel things. Ciel was supposed to just be a fuck for one night, but there was this draw to him, sucking out his life force everytime their lips met. His feelings bled onto Ciel's porcelain skin, unspoken words being whispered into his mouth. Ciel snuck into his life, making it so much better without Sebastian even realizing it.

He's a demon with feelings, it seems.

Before Ciel, whenever he thought of his future it was pitch black. Just darkness swallowing him whole, dragging him into an abyss where nothing matters, nothing hurts, and nothing tells him to be something he's not. There was no words replaying in his head, there was no fears, no pestering. He was alone. Now when he thinks about it, he just sees a boy with black hair and an eyepatch and a smile that makes the darkness dissipate and leave him standing in a field where the sun is shining on his back and his future looks a lot less dull.

Day 2 consists of Sebastian being trapped in his head.

* * *

_Day 3_

"Sebastian you haven't done any work for two days and I specifically remember telling you I needed a report on my desk by tonight and you haven't been into work at all."

His boss is nagging him over the phone, and Sebastian has a huge fucking hangover. He drowned himself in alcohol and self pity. Whoever said getting drunk solved problems were wrong, it just creates even more.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll come in an hour. I'm sorry, I've been... Out of it."

"Well get the fuck back in it." Click.

Sebastian lets out a big sigh, closing his eyes tight and rubs his temples, trying to force the headache that's dominating his head like a fucking beast.

Ciel would probably make him some tea and cuddle him and kiss him and nag him a little bit about drinking so much.

_No, we can't think like that, idiot._

He gets up and hops into the shower, sighing as the hot water falls onto his sore, hungover body, but doesn't shower for too long, too much of in a hurry to enjoy bathing like a normal human being.

To be fair though, he hasn't bathed in 2 days and it's kind of gross.

He quickly throws on his work attire and heads out to work, wanting to shoot himself in the head. Maybe jump in traffic. Oh! Maybe get robbed or something. His thoughts are extremely dark and he just wants Ciel, funny enough.

Day 3 consists of working, getting nagged, threatened to be fired, and thinking of Ciel and what he's doing every second of the day.

* * *

_Day 4_

Sebastian is currently in the kitchen, making a quick plate of pasta when his phone rings, an unknown number popping up. He raises an eyebrow and answers; "Hello?"

"Is this Sebastian?"

"Unfortunately."

"This is Alois, um, the blonde from Ciel's work? Boy who slept with Claude? Ciel said I looked like a child?"

"Yeah, yeah I remember. What the fuck do you want? I'm not going to fuck you, if that's what you're asking."

"NO. Jesus, christ. NO. I'm calling because I'm worried about Ciel and you're the only one who can fix this disaster because you're a fucking idiot."

"How the fuck am I an idiot? We had a mutual agreement and we strayed from that and I ended it before anyone could... Get hurt." You're the hurt one, stupid ass.

"Don't sit here and try to act like you could care less. He used to talk about you constantly and he cares. Everyone knows fuck buddies don't end up successfully. Someone always gets feelings or even both and I think both of you fucking idiots got feelings. He works tomorrow, and I'm gonna try to get him to actually go this time. Show up, buy a coffee, try to talk to him. Something. I'm begging you."

Sebastian closes his eyes and sighs heavily, a headache creeping into his skull and pounds on it real hard. "No. I ended it and it's going to stay ended, there's no fixing it when there's nothing to fix. He got feelings, it breached our little agreement and it's done. He can get over it."

"You're a fucking stupid, manipulating asshole, you know that? Ciel told me how you guys didn't just fuck all the time. You acted like you cared, you acted like boyfriends, and you have the nerve to be an asshole and say you didn't have feelings? Blame it on Ciel? It takes 2 to make an illusion like that shit and you fed into it. I don't know what you're scared of, but you better get the fuck over it before I go to your house myself and beat your stupid ass up. I may be short as fuck and skinny and adorable but my knee can hit straight up into that small ass dick that you use as a brain. FUCK. YOU. Get over yourself." Click.

What the fuck?

What is up with him pissing off tiny people with too much anger?

* * *

_Day 5_

He hasn't slept.

He literally has not slept, just stayed up smoking 2 packs of cigarettes and listening to Alois' words repeat in his head.

Is he really going to chase after somebody? Is he really going to try for someone when he barely tries anything for himself?

The answer is yes, because he is currently looking at the coffee shop Ciel works at, biting on his lip in a nervous manner. He hasn't seen Ciel in 5 days but it feels like 5 years and is heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest.

He slowly walks into the coffee shop and immediately spots Ciel. He looks so good, so beautiful, so small and Sebastian just wants to hold him or kiss him or fuck him or even just have him look at him. It's pathetic.

He patiently waits in line, his whole body thrumming with nerves. When he finally hears Ciel's voice, he jumps a little, controlling himself so Ciel doesn't notice.

"Welcome, what can I get you?" He mumbles in a hard voice, cocking his hip with a hand on it.

"Not very polite are you?" Sebastian says. He's automatically angry and it's sad. He wants to calm down, but Ciel is being difficult.

"What. Can. I. Get. You?" Ciel basically demands, his tone icy and unforgiving.

Sebastian honestly wants to hide in a hole hearing that tone of voice, his whole body drowning in shame and regret.

"I want to talk." He says in a small but firm voice, trying to keep up a strong front.

"Fuck no, but I can get you coffee, or maybe a scone, or a cupcake maybe."

"I don't want a fucking cupcake, Ciel."

"Okay so a coffee and scone, what flavor."

"Ciel, seriously."

"Order or get the fuck out."

Sebastian was too busy staring at the gorgeous face that he didn't even notice his body covered in hickeys, and Sebastian goes in overload mode. He's angry, jealous, sad, wants to cry and throw something. Ciel is HIS. Ciel shouldn't be touched by anyone else but Sebastian.

What the fuck was he thinking letting Ciel go? Why did he do that? He forgot every single reason he told himself and now he just wants him back. He wants to fix it, wants to mark Ciel up with his own lips and cover the others.

He wants to possess, wants to own, and it's unhealthy but he needs it. He's so sad.

"Large caramel coffee. Nice hickeys by the way." He says it in an angry voice, his voice shaking a little as he says it. He can't even help it.

"Oh thanks, special, special friend gave them to me as he let me ride his fingers and cum all over his chest. It was nice." Ciel says smoothly, making Sebastian spike with even more jealousy and anger.

"Oh I bet." Sebastian says through gritted teeth, his fists clenching. He fucking hated the idea of another man touching Ciel and marking him up just the way he likes. Not helping the situation, he also notices Ciel ass in those jeans and now he wants to commit a murder.

Ciel comes up and hands him his coffee and smiles sickenly sweet at him, "That'll be $5.50, sweetie."

Sebastian can't take it anymore and just storms out after throwing money at him and grabs his coffee, he runs down the block and stops, breathing heavily and feeling tears roll down his cheeks and his eyes go wide in realization.

He's fucking crying.

He wipes his cheeks quickly, taking a deep breath, but it doesn't help at all, just makes him let out a loud sob and just lets it out, ugly crying and hating himself.

He hasn't cried in years. He didn't even cry when his parents died, he didn't cry as Ciel left, didn't cry as people kept continuing to leave his life. But now he cries, cries over the fact he let something good leave his life, let another man touch something he cares for so deeply and was too stupid to see it.

He was too scared.

The idea of love in his head is still so jumbled and unsure, so all he can settle on is that he cares about Ciel so deeply it hurts him, makes him confused, makes him angry and sad all at once. He doesn't understand, he doesn't know what to do with feelings for another human being.

He doesn't know how to handle being sad about losing someone, he doesn't know how to fix it, doesn't know how to show he cares. So he cries, cries out his feelings and confusion and he drops his coffee on the floor, sinking to his knees and cries out everything he's never let himself feel.

It hurts, he can't breathe and his vision is so cloudy, he's cold too and he wants to just curl up and die.

He's always been dramatic.

_"Sebastian?"_

* * *

**_Don't forget that this story is on archive of our own, under zelliebear!  
_**

**_:)_**


	16. Chapter 16

_I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure_

_Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us_

_Bodies together_

_I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always_

_I'd love to wake up next to you..._

_I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always_

_I'd love to wake up next to you..._

"Sebastian?"

Sebastian just keeps his head down, trying to quiet his crying. He knows who's voice that is, doesn't want to face it, doesn't want him to see him like this. He feels broken, he feels like he could snap at anything if he doesn't get his emotions in check.

"Sebastian.. are you okay?" Ciel's voice is so soft, so so so soft that it's making Sebastian break even further. He doesn't deserve that softness, that voice that sounds like it actually cares about him.

"I'm fine." His voice breaks a little bit, and he's letting out a quiet whimper because talking just makes it worse.

Ciel walks towards Sebastian and genly places his hand on his back and rubs, biting on his lip nervously. He came out here to yell, maybe kick him in the nuts, but he's not stupid. He knows Sebastian is crying, and he knows this isn't something he shows. He knows he's probably making him uncomfortable, but Ciel doesn't like this at all.

It feels like it's different now that Sebastian is crying, and he knows it's because of him. He's showing he cares, mostly to himself at first, but it's still happening and ciel feels overwhelmed.

He kneels down and lays his head on Sebastian's shoulder, closing his eyes, listening to the little shuddering breaths, hiccups and sniffles. It's quiet outside, peaceful, the emotions swirling around them like a blanket, covering them and making them feel it.

"I'm sorry." It's so quiet, barely there, Ciel wouldn't of heard it if it wasn't so quiet around them. His head snaps up and he looks at Sebastian, his eye wide, his chest feeling up with emotions, making his eye start to water.

"What?" He just wants to make sure he heard that right, that he's not going crazy.

Sebastian looks at him and it breaks Ciel's heart. The emotion written on his face is so heavily printed upon it, his eyes bloodshot and puffy, he looks miserable, radiating regret, almost feeling like it could manifest into a physical thing, an aura. "I'm sorry, Ciel." He frowns, wiping his eyes and turns to face Ciel, grabbing his face with his hands, he speaks so soft, with so much genuinity in his voice,

"I... I'm sorry. I'm new to this, right? I don't deal with this stuff, and I've been miserable this past week and it's hard to admit that to myself, and having to admit it to you is the hardest thing I've ever done." He looks into Ciel's eye, rubbing his thumbs against the soft cheeks, a part of him easing, fading into happiness again, just being able to touch him makes him soar. "Ciel, I may not be able to say that I um... love you... any day. It may never come, but I just... I care. I care so much, Ciel. Please believe me when I say this. You're too good for me, and I realize that now and I may have from the very beginning. I may have realized it when I first had that conversation with you. I may have realized it when I didn't make you leave. Maybe it's always been there and I'm too fucking stupid to realize it. I know you're different, I feel it everytime I look at you." He sighs, biting on his lip a little before continuing, "I want.. No.. You deserve to be happy, and that may not come from me. I may know that I would fucking do anything for you if you asked, but sometimes that's not enough, even if it's enough for me, but I'm different. I don't feel the way other people do. It's hard for me, it's hard for me to let myself feel anything besides pleasure, or anger, or fear, I've come to realize.." He closes his eyes and sighs.

"Sebastian, I'm not asking for a husband, kids in the future, a promise of anything. I just want you, and I just want you to want me. I want to be someone to you.." Ciel is crying freely now, so overcome with emotion he's drowning in it. He just wants to kiss Sebastian, forget this whole thing. He wants to go to Sebastian's house and cuddle, maybe even have sex. Anything with Sebastian at this point. He wants to teach Sebastian how to love, he really wants it, even if Sebastian swears it'll never happen.

Most importantly, he wants to love Sebastian.

"I... I can do that.." Sebastian mumbles, opening his eyes back open and leans forward, gently planting his lips upon Ciel's, kissing him so soft it's making Ciel's head spin.

"Can we go back to your place?" Ciel whispers against his lips, running his fingers softly through Sebastian's hair, massaging his scalp a little bit, feeling Sebastian relax, almost letting out a purr.

Sebastian nods and stands, helping Ciel up and he just wraps his arms around Ciel's waist, pulling him close to him and buries his face in his neck, breathing in his scent, the smell of home, baked goods and coffee.

It eases his muscles, his heart, everything. It's crazy how much impact the boy has on him, but he's so glad to let go and just let himself feel, let himself have it. He hopes he can keep this up, keep letting himself be carefree and happy like he is now.

Ciel just smiles, closing his eyes and cuddling up against Sebastian.

They fit like 2 puzzle pieces, really. It's like Ciel's body was made to be held by Sebastian, to be worshipped and cared for. Their heights are perfect, Sebastian having to bend down to kiss him, or Ciel to get on his tippy toes, and it's perfect, soothing. It makes Ciel feel protected, too. Makes him feel small.

"Okay, let's go home."

_Home_. It makes Ciel smile big, nodding his head softly.


	17. Chapter 17

Ciel looks up at the man that's currently hovering over him, his chest on display, his black silky hair falling around his head. He smiles, a private smile that Sebastian can feel it's only for him, only will ever be for him.

It's quiet, the only sound is the wind blowing through the windows and the soft music playing through the speakers, songs that sing about the feelings they don't dare speak out about.

Sebastian grabs Ciel's hand, placing a kiss along it and smiles back at him, a rare sight to Ciel, and it makes his heart beat faster in his chest, making his blood run faster.

The feelings he sees swarming in those ember eyes, not hidden behind the mask that Sebastian puts up to protect himself is making breathing harder. He feels overwhelmed, almost loved. Like it's on the edge of being there, but will never come out, but it's enough. It feels like it will always be enough to him.

Sebastian leans down and presses a soft kiss to Ciel's pulse point before sucking on it, leaving a mark. Ciel just leans his head back, letting Sebastian mark him, mark over the ones Alois left upon him. He lets Sebastian reclaim him, like property, but it doesn't feel that way. It's possessive, caring, makes him feel protected and owned in a good way.

Sebastian leaves a mark everywhere that Alois left, making them bigger, sending the message to Alois if he were to see them again. Make him remember who Ciel originally was for, who had taken him and cared for him before he did.

Sebastian runs his soft hands down Ciel's body, his fingertips leaving goosebumps in it's path. Ciel closes his eyes, let's himself just feel, biting on his lip and letting out a soft moan at a particulary hard suck upon his neck.

Sebastian grips his hips and pushes them closer to his and grinds against him, their dicks lined up and rubbing against each other, making Ciel breathe harder, putting his hands on Sebastian's back, digging his nails in as the pleasure becomes prominant. He's feeling weightless, so happy and at home, where he belongs.

He doesn't know when Sebastian became such a comfort, such a place for him to be content.

Sebastian starts kissing from his neck down to his dick, looking up at Ciel as he rubs his finger against his opening, making Ciel let out a shuddering breath, pushing his hips up, silently begging for it. He's surprised as a wet mouth wraps around his cock just as a finger enters inside of him, making him moan out, throwing his head back.

He sucks hard, closing his eyes and savoring the taste on his tongue. He's missed this so much, missed tasting Ciel, breathing him in and being with him. He moans around his cock as he takes him deeper inside of his mouth, moving his finger in and out at a slow pace.

Sebastian is being unusually gentle, slow and it's driving Ciel mad. He's letting out small moans, breathless "please" escapes his mouth as well, but Sebastian won't give in. He adds in another finger inside, moving them even slower, but letting them brush up against his prostate, making Ciel arch his back and let out a loud moan. He feels his cock pulsate against his tongue and pulls off just before he can cum, licking his lips and moves down, tonguing at where his fingers are moving in and out.

He scissors his fingers, opening Ciel up slow and steady, sliding his tongue around his fingers and slowly pushes it in besides them, fucking into him a little faster.

Ciel is shaking, trying to close his legs like he can't control it. He's breathing heavier, begging under his breath, whimpering and moaning and it's beautiful to Sebastian's ears.

Sebastian decides to pity him and slides his fingers and tongue out of him, sitting up and kisses along his thighs, sucking and marking them up, smiling against them, content with marking him up.

"Sebastian, please... Please get inside of me." Ciel whimpers, gripping on Sebastian's hair, trying to pull him back up.

Sebastian kisses up to his mouth, kissing him nice and soft as he lubes up his cock without Ciel even realizing it. He rubs the tip along his hole, letting it catching against it, and slowly slides inside of him, so slow it makes Ciel groan.

He bottoms out after a few minutes, making it feel like torture to Ciel because he's gagging for it, wants it so bad he wants to cry. But, something feels different this time somehow, so he refrains from begging or complaining.

The room is charged with emotions. They are breathing into each other's mouths, planting soft kisses occasionally as Sebastian thrusts in and out at a slow pace, his arms wrapping Ciel up into his arms, keeping him as close as possible.

Sebastian kisses to Ciel's ear, giving it a small suck, "You look so beautiful, baby." He whispers so quietly in his ear, his hips snapping a little faster, angling his hips so it hits against his prostate and Ciel let's out a cute, loud moan, gripping at Sebastian's back as he just takes it, his eyes starting to water from how much emotion he's feeling.

His heart feelings like it's going to rip out of his chest. Sebastian is making love to him, and he never thought he'd see the day. There's so much passion in each thrust, making him shudder and shake, making him want to melt into a puddle of goo.

"Baby, honey, I'm gonna cum.." Ciel moans, moving his hips with Sebastian's thrusts. Each thrust is hitting at his prostate dead on, making his orgasm come at him fast and he feels like he can barely hold on.

"Cum with me, please wait, Ciel." There's a begging tone to it that makes Ciel's eye snap shut, nodding his head fast as he tries to hold off his orgasm. Sebastian's thrusts speed up faster now, sloppily. He hears him moaning loud into his ear and it's so hot, making him sweat and feel like he's going to suffocate.

"Fill me up, baby." Ciel begs, moaning loudly as he hears Sebastian let out a whimper. He feels cum fill him up, feels Sebastian shaking against him, squeezing against him tighter and Ciel just cums, his body seizing up and he can barely breathe. He's crying now, can't stop the tears, and he's gasping, digging his nails into Sebastian's back as he gets held so tight.

"Care about you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." Sebastian is rambling in his ear, planting kisses along it and his neck as well, just mumbling thank you over and over, his voice a little shaky.

Ciel nods, biting his lip as he moves Sebastian's face to his and kisses him deeply, letting the almost love he feels for Sebastian just pour out of him, feeling Sebastian up and cries even harder, kissing him with so much passion.

They kiss until they can't do it anymore, tired and sticky, and even though they feel gross from the dried cum, sebastian just rolls onto his side and wraps his arms around Ciel, holding him as he drifts off into sleep with a smile on his face.

Ciel smiles, running his fingertips along his jawline, placing a gentle kiss to his nose as he cuddles up against him, closing his eyes and for once in his life, he feels like everything is going good.

He's happy.


	18. Chapter 18

Ciel has had a song on repeat for DAYS, non stop, and even tried to talk Sebastian into listening to it during sex.

He's currently singing said song in the kitchen as he makes Sebastian lunch, swaying his tiny hips and radiating happiness.

Which is why Sebastian hasn't thought of murder yet. The song drives him up the wall, he hates the band, hates everything about the twinks with nice hair and piercing eyeball colors but Ciel loves them so fucking much.

One god damn Direction. The song is Perfect, and Ciel claims that it's their relationship in a song and is trying to make Sebastian love it as much as he does.

"Daaaaaaadddyyy, your lunch is ready!" Ciel runs in with a plate in his hands, jumping into Sebastian's lap and smiles at him, nice and big and kisses his cheek.

"Thanks, Ciel." Ciel pouts a bit at the bored tone Sebastian has, on the verge of sounding annoyed. So Ciel kisses his lips and picks up a piece of the sandwich, holding it up to his lips.

" I can feed myself." Sebastian says, sighing. He has a headache from the damn song but refuses to tell Ciel. Last thing he needs is a hurt Ciel on his hands.

Ciel frowns, nodding his head and places the plate on the end table and gets up, going to the kitchen to make his own lunch without saying a word.

Sebastian lets out a loud groan and gets up, walking to Ciel and wraps his arms around his tiny boy, kissing his shoulder. "I'm sorry." He kisses his neck. "Please forgive me."

Ciel smiles, leaning into him and places his hands on Sebastian's arms, nodding his head. "I don't want to be annoying or bother you, I'm sorry."

"I just have a headache and I took it out on you." He spins him around and places a kiss on his lips softly, holding him tight against him.

Ciel wraps his arms around his neck and kisses him back, melting in his arms with a smile.

"Let's eat lunch, Sebby."

Sebastian squints his eyes. "I hate that damn nickname."

Ciel giggles, screaming sebby at the top of his lungs as he runs into the living room with his own plate of lunch.

* * *

"I'm not going to fuck you tonight, Ciel. Stop begging."

Ciel is currently pouting and being a brat, demanding for sex which Sebastian refuses to give based solely on the fact Ciel is a fucking brat.

"You never deny me, why now?" Ciel pouts even more, laying flat onto his back, letting his shirt run up a little bit to reveal his hip bones.

"You're not being a good boy, you're being a brat and brats don't get what they want everytime they throw a fucking tantrum. I'll do one thing for you to redeem yourself though."

Ciel bit his lip, a little nervous. "What?"

"You're gonna wear his butt plug in all night and tomorrow morning I'll fuck you, if you behave and leave it in."

Ciel widens his eyes, whimpering a little at the idea of it. He's never used one before, scared if he can even handle it for an hour, let alone a whole night, sleeping with it.

"F-fine.." He mumbles quietly, getting on his hands and knees, ready for him.

Sebastian grins at Ciel's submissive nature. He was a natural at it, without much practice. They've barely really entered this, and he's already done so well except on some days where he's a brat.

Sebastian walks up to him and pulls the pair of panties down, revealing his hole and automatically rubs lube on it, brushing his fingers over it , teasing him a little before entering 2 fingers so he feels the burn, slowing stretching him out.

Ciel lets out a little moan, closing his eyes, letting himself feel the stretch. He tries moving his hips to angle the fingers towards his prostate, whining when Sebastian refuses to let him.

"You can handle a little burn." He takes his fingers out and presses the buttplug inside, much to Ciel's dismay is says princess on the bottom in pink.

Sebastian smiles and steps back, clapping his hands together and sighs. "Anyways, I have work to do. Goodnight!"

"WHAT THE FUCK SEBASTIAN."


	19. Chapter 19

It's been 3 hours since Sebastian left Ciel alone to deal with the teasing that is the butt plug pressing against his prostate, no matter how much he tries to shift it won't move from that position and it's driving him to the brink of insanity.

He's laying on the bed on his stomach, trying to keep as much pressure off his ass as possible. He's about to cry ,if he's honest. He just wants attention and he's tried and tried to get it but Sebastian is straight up ignoring him, not even acknowledging his pressence and he's angry.

So, in a moment of being a dumbass, sad, mad, and desperate, he decides to do something that will upset Sebastian to no end, but watch Ciel not give a fuck.

At this moment, anyway.

He moves onto his back, and his hand goes straight to the plug and gives it a little wiggle, letting out a breathless moan as he teases his prostate, closing his eyes and smiling, happy that he's just going to make himself cum, no matter the consequence.

He starts thrusting the toy in and out of him nice and slow, licking his lip and he just basks in the slow building pleasure, moving his other hand up to play with his nipple, squeezing and rubbing it.

That's when Sebastian decides to finally bless Ciel with his presence.

Ciel just freezes before making eye contact, anger pulsating through him and he just starts roughly thrusting the toy in and out of his loose hole, moaning extra loud just to piss Sebastian off.

Sebastian just rolls his eyes and sighs, going over to the closet and pulling out something that Ciel can't see, but he doesn't care, he just thrusts the toy faster, close to cumming, rolling his eyes back letting out a loud grown.

Suddenly something slips onto his cock, stopping him from having an orgasm and gasps, looking down and sees a cock ring on his cock, widening his eyes and looking at Sebastian as he nonchalantly takes off his shirt, getting ready for bed, no longer paying attention to Ciel.

"What the fuck, Sebastian?" He's so mad he just rips out of the toy and throws it at the back of Sebastian's head, moving his hands to slide the cock ring off when suddenly Sebastian grips his wrists hard, giving him an annoyed look.

"You're really fucking testing my patience today, Ciel. You're being a fucking brat. You think I want to deal with a fucking child? Stop acting like one. You're a fucking adult. What happened to that submissive behavior? What's next? Going to throw a fucking tantrum?" He's seething at this point, the urge to dominate Ciel overbearing him.

"Fuck you. I just want attention and you're acting like I'm not even worth the time to LOOK AT." Ciel kicks his legs up, trying to kick Sebastian when suddenly he's being held down at all angles. He let's out a grunt, trying to move his arms but he's trapped completely.

"If you think this is a way to get my fucking attention, you got another thing coming." Sebastian just smirks, looking down at a grumpy Ciel. "Ever hear of punishment, babe? Well you're going to get it."

Sebastian gets up quickly, getting some handcuffs and Ciel grunts as he's handcuffed to the bed, a cock ring on and a very smug Sebastian looking at him from the end of the bed.

"Goodnight. I was actually going to fuck you tonight, or even cuddle your dumbass but you decided to be stupid. So now, you're going to sleep in here alone with a cock ring on and handcuffed and I refuse to reply to anything. That's your punishment. And if you don't do anything dumb during the night, I'll even come fuck you in the morning, but you won't be able to cum." Sebastian smiles and just exits the room, shutting the lights off, leaving Ciel there in shock.

What the fuck just happened?

* * *

Ciel has decided he can't handle this punishment. He feels alone, and he's on the verge of tears. There's no way he'll be able to sleep. For some reason, he feels so scared and isolated as if Sebastian isn't just in the other room.

And he isn't stupid, he knows he can yell his safe word and Sebastian will come running in to end this, but when he really thinks about, he kind of likes this and it's confusing.

His heart feels super heavy, but he's also excited for the morning, even if he won't be able to cum as a punishment. Being used turns him on, he's quickly learning if his thoughts are anything to go by.

He looks at the clock and sees it's already 5 A.M. He let's out a long sigh and closes his eyes and tries to get some sleep.

But once again, Sebastian just has the best fucking timing in the world.

Sebastian doesn't say anything as he crawls onto the bed and puts his head directly between Ciel's thighs and just starts licking at his ass, not even sparing a glance up at Ciel.

Ciel chokes on his spit and moans loudly, sensitive after sitting here for hours without any real stimulation and not being able to cum after being so close earlier.

Sebastian takes his time eating him out, leaving soft kisses and light licks, sucking on his pucker and sometimes moving to his thighs to leave some marks, his possessivness taking over. Even if Ciel is a brat, he would honestly consider himself lucky to be able to touch Ciel like this, see him go crazy and beg and just take him apart slowly.

Ciel can't stop whimpering at the soft loving touches. It's as if Sebastian is quietly apologizing to him, but he can't say it out loud because it ruins the arrangment they have. Punishments are needed, but that doesn't mean he can't feel bad for doing it silently to himself.

Sebastian finally sits up onto his knees after giving Ciel's asshole one last hard suck and smiles at Ciel as he lubes up his cock, dragging the tip along his hole before slipping in all in one thrust.

Ciel gasps loudly and moans, throwing his head back as he adjusts to the big cock inside of him, digging his nails into his palms.

Sebastian decides to have mercy and at least take the handcuffs off, rubbing his wrists gently as he thrusts in and out of him slow and deep, frowning a little bit at the tough red marks on his wrist.

Ciel doesn't notice that though, so caught up in getting dicked so deep he feels like Sebastian's dick will literally come out his mouth in a couple moments and that doesn't gross him out as much as it should.

His cock is throbbing and hurting so bad that he starts crying from the pleasure and pain of it all. He feels the need to be good, now so he ignores the want to take off the cock ring and instead digs his nails hard into Sebastian's back as his thrusting picks up speed, rocking the headboard against the wall.

Sebastian grips his thighs hard, digging his nails in and decides to stop with the teasing and starts pounding Ciel, watching as Ciel struggles to breathe, panting and moaning quieter than usual from how overwhelemed he is.

Sebastian grins as he grips Ciel's cock and jerks it hard and slow, running his thumb along the slit, biting his lip at the loud scream and whine Ciel releases, feeling his fingernails dig so hard into his back it actually hurts him a little for once, feeling little drops of blood drip down his back but he loves it, loves the pain, loves the looks and sounds Ciel is making.

"Daddy, I can't. Please cum already, please." Ciel begs, choking on a sob as Sebastian just smirks and pounds him even harder, the sounds of skin against skin loud in the room along with Ciel crying, his body starting to shake.

He feels himself start to float, and he just smiles.

Sebastian notices right away, Ciel's body going limp and his eyes closing as he moans in pleasure, nice and quiet, rubbing at Sebastian's back and his heart aches a little bit.

He decides to reward him just this once, for holding on this long with barely any begging, just taking it without questions.

He slips the cock ring off and all he hears is a loud scream, feeling as cum hits his chest, feeling Ciel shake so bad it feels like hes viberating. His ass clenches around Sebastian so tight that it makes him grunt, cumming inside of Ciel for at least 5 minutes.

Ciel feels so full, so happy, so floaty. He's went into subspace before but this is a different level. He's so overwhelmed at the smell of Sebastian attack his senses, Sebastian everywhere. He loves it so much he just clings to the hard body, the man he cares about so much.

He closes his eyes and just lets go, passing out in Sebastian's arms. To the feeling of him running his soft fingers through his hair, light kisses all over his neck and cheeks and he feels so content, so loved.


End file.
